


How To Be A Kick-Ass Brother: A Guide by Miya Atsumu

by Egosdelirium



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Atsumu is just trying his best, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, Extremely Dubious Consent, Gen, Heavy Drinking, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sex, Just angst, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Sakusa being disgusted by the world even in the worst situations, Suna Rintaro is the only man that deserves rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:40:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24520972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egosdelirium/pseuds/Egosdelirium
Summary: The two of them fight all the time, bicker for hours and are constantly at each other's throats, but when Osamu gets hurt, Atsumu is ready to do anything to help his brother.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou & Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Kita Shinsuke/Ojiro Aran, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu & Suna Rintarou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 136
Kudos: 868





	1. I

Atsumu looked at the closed door of his brother's room and sighed. Osamu had been quiet and weird for a good three days and it was starting to freak him out. Their mother had tried to ask him what was wrong, but she wasn't home nearly enough to really understand that there was a problem, she just thought the silver haired boy was worried about school or something like that, or so she told Atsumu when he asked her how their talk went. But Atsumu knew it was bullshit, 'Samu didn't worry about stupid school, or anything along the lines of that. He just wasn't like that.  
But then what the fuck was wrong with his brother?

Atsumu tried to recall if something unusual had happened during the week but nothing came to mind: they had gone to class with SunaRin, 'Samu had studied in the library while Atsumu had practiced with his new team, they had hung out with friends and had gone home. Osamu didn't seem to have fought with anyone, then what was wrong? Love problems? Atsumu was pretty sure Osamu had it bad for Suna, but he never mentioned anything about it so he didn't want to push the topic.  
Maybe that was really just it, love problems. But then something came up to mind: Saturday night.

On Saturday, Osamu had gone out to Kyoto with some friends, went clubbing at night and came back at around 3 am. Atsumu had been a whiny bitch because he couldn't go, blame him for not writing the essay that was due tomorrow any sooner than the night before. His brother had teased him like the little shit he was, gone out and came back, with Aran? Atsumu didn't recall hearing the latter's car in his driveway, but he was sure they had left for Kyoto together.  
They didn't really talk, anyway, when Osamu got back because it was late as fuck and both looked drained, and Atsumu, thinking back on it, had never asked Osamu how the night had gone. Maybe something had happened then.

But these were all suppositions, Atsumu was about to shrug and walk past when he heard a noise, similar to a whimper, coming from his brother's closed door.  
He got closer and pressed his ear against the wooden material, trying to identify the sound, when he heard it again a bit louder.  
It totally sounded like Osamu was crying.

Wait.

Why would Osamu be crying? That son of a bitch was the most insensitive person Atsumu had ever met, never even cried during the saddest parts in movies. (During movie night with the old team and their new friends from university, everyone tried to get him to tear up with heart-wrenching films but no one had ever succeeded, Kita was planning to try with "The wind rises" next week).  
But Atsumu was starting to get freaked out, why in the world would his ass of a brother be crying? So he did the only thing he found logical: barging in loudly and demanding to know "what the hell are ya doin' ya asshole?"

If he was freaked out before, now he could officially be considered scared.  
Had Osamu always been this skinny? He looked positively and objectively awful: cheekbones unhealthily more prominent than Atsumu remembered them, bloodshot eyes and face that looked paler than ever.  
"'Samu what the fuck is up with ya man".  
Osamu huffed, almost managing to look annoyed, almost managing to fool Atsumu, before whispering "fuck off outta here, nothin's up".  
"Yeah and my name is Michael fuckin' Jackson. Why are you crying stupid".  
No answer.  
"'Samu ye'r freaking me out, look at me, hey dickhead look at me." he had to phisically pull up his brother's chin for him to meet his eyes. He looked drained, tired and..sad. Atsumu didn't like it, it wasn't a good look on his generally smug twin. "Do you want me to call someone? SunaRin? Kita-san? That Komori dude?"  
Osamu weakly shook his head.  
"Oi 'Samu fuckin' talk to me or I'll lose my patience. Did'ya fight with Suna? Is that why ye'r pathetically moping? Volleyball shit? Is it school related? Mom told me it was nothing but she clearly didn't see ya this way."

  
Osamu looked really hesitant, avoiding Atsumu's gaze as if he was scared of it. Scared of what? Why would he fear his own twin? Atsumu hated every second of that situation.  
Just as he was about to speak again, Osamu said, still in that shittily quiet voice: "Saturday".

  
There it was, Atsumu was right, he would've surely been smug about guessing right, had they been in literally any other situation, but it didn't seem like the case right now. Worry was chewing his insides and he just really wanted to get this talk over with.  
"What about Saturday, ya were with Aran and some of yer classmates right?"

  
Osamu nodded; perfect, they were starting to get somewhere.

  
"Went to Kyoto without me ya assholes, did something happen there?"  
Osamu nodded again.  
The blonde boy was starting to feel a knot tighten in his throat, he wanted to bolt out of the room, run as far away as possible from his brother's empty eyes.  
"'Samu I need ya to fuckin' collaborate a little bit dude because yer not helping me understand here."  
That look again, fear maybe, or perhaps uncertainty. Atsumu snapped. "Have I ever fuckin' judged yer stupid ass for all the stupid shit you've done? I thought ya knew me better than that".  
Osamu sniffled slightly, blew his nose in a disgustingly overused tissue (Kiyoomi would faint just at the sight of that) and nodded slowly. Fucking finally.

"Ya should really widen yer vocabulary, yer insults are gettin' repetitive 'Tsumu". There it was, the bitchy attitude everyone was so used to, even if it was totally not the same as always, but the blond would take that over the shitty whisper-talk any day. Atsumu smirked.  
"Spill it then, dumbass".  
Osamu hesitated again, but started speaking when Atsumu stood there in silence, waiting for him to find the words.  
"We went to this club, shitty place, way too loud, ya would've liked it for sure. It was ugly like yer face".  
Atsumu barked out a laugh, but it was just to cut the tension, it wasn't genuine and didn't help untie the knot in his throat at all.  
"Aran and the guys were dancing and I went outside for a smoke, met a guy, started talking".

  
Atsumu didn't dare interrupt, it had honestly taken way too long to get this far and he wasn't about to fuck everything up with his big, loud mouth. 

  
"He offered me a cigarette, then said we should go back to his place..which we did."  
Atsumu's eyes went wide and he grabbed his twin by the hem of his shirt.  
He yelled through his teeth: "What kind of idiot are ya, huh?? Going to someone's place in a city ya don't even know! Did ya at least tell the others?? What the fuck 'Samu, what went through your stupid brain?!"  
Osamu sat in silence and Atsumu paled.  
"Osamu". Silence, his brother was avoiding his eyes once again.

Atsumu felt like he needed to puke.

"Osamu, did ya tell the others?"  
"Yeah" that stupid, quiet tone again. "Told 'em I woulda gone home by myself later, told 'em I'd stay with an old friend".  
Atsumu felt like he was about to pop a vein. He couldn't help but yell: "WHY, what the actual shit ye'r supposed to be the responsible one here! You came back by yourself?! How? With the train?"  
Osamu nodded for the nth time that night.  
"Does Aran know anything? Why didn't that asshole tell me, I'll kill him", but Osamu stopped him before he could reach his phone. "He doesn't know the truth, I didn't tell anybody."

Atsumu was livid, pushed Osamu away from his phone and started mindlessly typing numbers on the screen. "Stop, asshole stop it, 'Tsumu. Stop".  
Atsumu slapped his hand away. "I'm calling Kita and telling him yer brain went to shit and ya won't stop me. Idiot, ya went to some dude's place and came home alone at night. How stupid can you be. You slept with him?".  
Silence, then those stupid whimpers again.  
And then Atsumu's blood froze in his veins.

  
"I didn't want to..".

Tears staining the bed covers, Osamu's gaze shying away fucking again. Atsumu connected the dots and sat in silence for what felt like hours, watching his brother cry in front of him.  
He didn't think he could contain himself if he were to speak now.  
Before he could find the words Osamu started to sob, and preceded him, emptying the sack.

"I didn't fuckin' want to have sex with him. We went to this shitty house but then I wanted to leave, told him I had to go home. He insisted we drank some more and the shit he gave me was so fuckin' strong my head was spinning. Then I texted Aran and told him I'd go back later by myself, I don't even know how I managed to type the text correctly. Then we.."

Atsumu had to put his hand in front of his mouth, he really was this close to throwing up his whole dinner on the bedsheets.

"And then he wanted to fuck, and I didn't, but he didn't give a shit. And then I passed out for two hours or something, got outta there as soon as I could and caught the train home."

"Osamu". Atsumu didn't mean to sound so angry, he really didn't, but his voice was murderous and he looked like he was ready to hunt down and kill the closest living being that breathed next to him. His brother, his own fucking twin, looked terrified.  
"That's fuckin' rape, Osamu".

"I'm sorry".

Osamu apologized, like it was his fault, and while he had certainly been an idiot for going around with a stranger at night, none of the rest was ever going to be his fault. He was the victim, just like the numerous girls the news reported from time to time.

  
'Girl abused on the train by an old man, woman forced to have sex with two men in her office. Raped and killed. Abused. Molested. Kidnapped and murdered on the side of the street.'

Atsumu couldn't hold it in anymore, he ran to the bathroom, tripping twice on the way, and emptied the contents of his stomach in the toilet.

None of them were able to sleep that night, Osamu wallowing in his own pity and Atsumu feeling dirty from head to toe. Every time he tried to close his eyes he pictured his brother, his stupid brother that he knew better than he knew himself, with some kind of depraved scum, alone and drunk out of his mind.  
He pictured his own stupid self on the phone with Kiyoomi and Shoyou, complaining about his essay, when miles away his twin, the blood of his blood, was living the worst night of his life.

Atsumu vomited again, and again until there was nothing left in his stomach, nothing but a horrid feeling that seemed to be wrenching his guts with every breath he took. He showered twice, hoping to clean some of that dirt away from his skin. He scrubbed until it bled, and lied awake on his bed, in his room, just a few steps away from Osamu's.

He heard their father come home from work, around midnight.  
He pictured their dad holding Osamu when they were 4, just like in the photo mom had framed in the living room. Both were smiling, sitting down on the green grass of a playground they used to go to. Him and his brother were chubby at that age, round cheeks and even rounder eyes.  
He thought too much about that photo, thought too much about dad and 'Samu and had to run to the bathroom again.

For the whole night he could only think 'what would dad say if he knew what happened to his precious, big-eyed son?'.

* * *

At school the next day Atsumu could barely concentrate, he almost fell asleep during lecture and Kiyoomi had to slap him in the back of the head to bring him back to the world of the living.  
But the curly haired boy's cutting remarks weren't what was really bothering Atsumu. Kita's eyes were.

Him and Kiyoomi had the majority of lectures together, and some with SunaRin, Hitoshi-San and Yuto-san (former Inarizaki team mates). Osamu had totally different classes from them though, as he had decided to drop volleyball and it wouldn't have made sense for him to follow Atsumu's courses.  
While Kita, Aran and Akagi did attend the same university they were, quite obviously, one year ahead. They all met together for lunch though. 

Osamu wasn't there today, and Atsumu could physically feel Kita's stare on his face, it almost hurt; it was like his ex captain was trying to burn holes through his head in order to hear his thoughts.

"Where's 'Samu?". Atsumu felt himself choke on his rice. He didn't even know who asked, maybe Akagi. He was way too focused on Kita's damned eyes to mind.  
SunaRin chimed in: "told me he wasn't feeling well, he went back home".  
Atsumu wasn't feeling well either, he subtly pushed away his food, as far from him as possible without looking too suspicious. He couldn't stand the sight of it, the previous night's stomach sickness was starting to crawl back into him again. Kiyoomi looked at him like he had two heads, and Atsumu couldn't take those stares anymore.

Kita was silent and scrupulous, and so were his eyes. But Kiyoomi's were a whole different story. Dark, deep and fuckin' scary sometimes. Atsumu felt under scrutiny every time Sakusa gave him _that_ look, he felt exposed and stripped of all his covers and right now he really, really couldn't take it.  
He was terrified that Kiyoomi would know, that he would understand how much of a coward Atsumu really was.

_'You ran away when your brother needed you the most, what kind of man are you? You deserve nothing, he wouldn't have done the same to you. He would've stayed. He cried and you stood there in silence.'_

Atsumu flinched away from his thoughts, too violently perhaps, and even more people started to look at him.  
Too many eyes, too many eyes fixated on his figure. It was getting harder to breathe, did he even remember how to breathe correctly? Someone was calling his name but Atsumu could only hear loud, thunderous "I'm sorry's".  
If he talked, they would figure it out, they would all understand how disgusting he truly was. All the people he loved would see the dirt on his hands. Atsumu stared at his palms and almost screeched. Black, coated in what looked like ink but felt like blood. Slimy, hot, sticky.  
He was sure by now he had forgotten how to breathe.

"Guys, let's call an ambulance, he's not okay".  
Who said that? Who? The voices sounded all the same.

Osamu's "I'm sorry's" echoed in his ears, so loud and painful that Atsumu had to cover them with his black hands, discovering with horror that by doing so, he felt the slimy substance inching on his jaw and neck.

He must have lost track of time, because when he came back to his senses he was alone with Kiyoomi, sitting on a bench outside. Far away from the canteen, far away from everyone that could see his sins.

Atsumu was finally able to breathe again. Kiyoomi didn't ask questions, didn't bother him with words and he felt oh-so-grateful. Thinking back on how much of a nuisance he had always been to Sakusa, he also felt a little bit guilty. But then again, guilt was something he was starting to get accustomed to.

They sat in silence for what felt like hours, Kiyoomi even let Atsumu lay his head on his shoulder. It was very unusual for the black haired male to be so touchy, but Atsumu wasn't complaining. He really needed it.

"You should call Shoyou. He's far away, doesn't know anything about your situation, even less than we do, and he's always helped you sort your shit. Talk to him and don't be afraid of being judged, Atsumu, because you and I both know he won't do that. Once you've cleared your head with the tangerine, talk to us. Alright?".

Atsumu considered the words, and came to the conclusion that Sakusa was right, as usual. He really should talk to Hinata.  
Even if the two were one year apart, they had always helped each other out and enjoyed talking and gossiping together. Atsumu was always proud to say that they were friends. 

He nodded, but was cut off by the other.

"Don't start saying cheesy shit, I'm helping you because I- because we're worried. And don't look at me like that, I knew you were about to be a sap."

Atsumu smiled, genuinely, for the first time that day. "Yeah, I was. You know me too well Omi-kun."  
Sakusa's eyeroll was so intense that Atsumu was almost worried that one of his eyeballs would get stuck in his head. He chuckled at the thought.  
"Go, shoo, call the little crow and snap out of it."

Atsumu nodded, stood up and surprise-hugged Kiyoomi, who looked pretty disgusted on his part. He refrained from kissing the other's cheek, too worried he'd get smacked or cursed at. Or both.

"You're always the best Omi-Omi".

* * *

Atsumu had missed Shoyou's loud-ass voice, he must admit. After chatting a bit about volleyball, Hinata's last year of high school and Tobio-chan, Atsumu finally cut to the chase and decided to spill his guts. He never made Osamu's name, deciding to keep the narration impersonal. Associating his twin with that night's events still felt like a foreign concept. Shoyou was perceptive enough not to dwell on it, never asking for names or more accurate information. He just listened and Atsumu remembered how much he actually liked to talk to the shortie.

"Well this sucks."

Atsumu breathed out a laugh and mentally agreed. "This hypothetical person, did you talk to them?" continued the redhead.   
He knew this part had to come, the part that made him feel like a worthless piece of shit, like the worst brother to have ever existed. He sighed.

"No, not really, he- they told me about it only yesterday."  
Shoyou hummed from the other line. "Hhm, I get it. I assume it's not something easy to talk about."

Silence.

"Atsumu-san... What's really bothering you?"

Atsumu blinked, a bit stunned. What was bothering him? The fact that his brother had been assaulted? He had never really identified _what_ made his stomach revolt, he assumed it was a mix of everything.

"I just... Shoyou I don't understand."

Hinata hummed, but didn't interrupt, leaving him time to continue.

"He's, they.." Atsumu stumbled on his words but decided to drop the act; Hinata had probably already understood, or had at least a general idea of who this was about.

"He's not weak, he's like what..6' 0.4"? I don't understand how this was possible. We took judo as kids. Shoyou, _how_? How was someone able to hurt him? Why didn't he fuckin' fight back? Break the asshole's nose or somethin'. "

Shoyou was silent, thinking, probably.

"Atsumu-san, it can happen to men too. Just because we're usually phisically stronger, it doesn't mean that we're invincible. We can get hurt too, we can be beaten up, kidnapped, assaulted, both by women and by other men.  
Plus mental struggles can really reduce our strength, damage our will to fight back."

He paused. 

  
"We really should try to acknowledge men's struggles more in these kind of...situations. I know you would've never imagined this but, but you should know that this doesn't make _him_ any weaker. He's still your brother, just like he was, and he's still a kickass volleyball player and he's still tall and athletic. But Atsumu-san, he can be just as vulnerable as someone who's 5' 2, or someone who weighs 50 kilos. I think- I think everyone is allowed to be frail sometimes, even a boxer or a MMA fighter. Am I wrong?".

He wasn't, he was right. And Atsumu felt like a total fool.

"Sho-chan I feel like shit. I didn't know what to tell him, it's just- 'Samu and I never have these kind of talks. We bicker, we have fun together, we insult each other. I don't know _how_ to help him."

Hinata's voice softened palpably.  
"Atsumu-san, you're a good brother."

Weirdly, that was enough. Enough to untie that terrible knot that had been choking him since the previous night.

"You're trying, it's a hard thing to deal with, for both of you. But you'll get over it, I'm sure you will. Try to get him to vent, he should let it all out."

"Thank you, Sho-chan."

He could actually feel Hinata smile through the phone.

"Anytime, Atsumu-san! Update me okay? And uhm, hug him for me, will you?". Atsumu chuckled "I ain't huggin' that dickhead."

Both knew he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarifying some things:  
> 1) the story is set two years after the nationals, Atsumu and the second years are attending their first year of university, while Hinata and the first years are still finishing high school  
> 2) yes, Sakusa goes to university with them. Yes, I know they don't actually live in the same prefecture but I don't care, I've totally ignored it, lol.  
> 3) I wrote this at three am on a Monday night, what am I doing with my life? 
> 
> WARNING: in no way am I romanticizing sexual abuse, it's a horrifying act that no one should ever condone. I am deeply sorry for whoever had to go through any form of assault or violence and I wish the best for them.
> 
> This being said, let me know what you think of this, the second chapter will be updated soon. Thank you so much for reading.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two more people discover the truth, but Osamu wants to forget it.
> 
> WARNING: graphic depictions of bruises and marks, referenced/implied violence.

  
Osamu had, somehow, managed to make himself invisible.  
He wasn't home, wasn't picking up his phone, wasn't even reading his texts. 

Atsumu was becoming increasingly more nervous with every passing second. Their house was empty, emptier than ever. With both their parents still at work and his twin's sudden disappearence, it felt like the silence was trying to make him go deaf. 

Restless, Atsumu picked up his jacket, his Mikasa volleyball and headed out. As soon as he got to the park, the old one they used to go practice at when the high school gym was closed, he immediately felt better. Relieved.   
He had always been at peace there, surrounded by trees and the gentle whistles of the wind. 

He started practicing by himself, but was soon interrupted by the last people he wanted to see at the moment.   
In all their magnificence, Kita, Aran and Akagi showed up, volleyball in hand, and waved at Atsumu before approaching him. It seemed like they had had the same idea. How to blame them, practicing had always been a huge stress reliever for all the team members. 

Atsumu wasn't really ecstatic at the idea of playing together, but he couldn't turn them down without justifying his bad mood, and if he were to do so he would have to tell them Osamu was missing. And he really, really didn't feel like speaking of his brother.   
They started playing doubles, and slipped easily into a tranquil atmosphere. But everything just _had_ to go to shit, didn't it.   
Atsumu hadn't really realized just how nasty his feelings for Aran had been until the latter opened his mouth and asked: "How's 'Samu? Feelin' better?" 

He sized him up, brown eyes analyzing his friend from head to toe. He didn't like the feeling in his chest, didn't like the disgust he felt as he watched Ojiro Aran, his longtime team and school mate. He hated that as he looked at him an echo of familiar "I'm sorry's" began to lurk around his mind.   
Atsumu despised seeing his brother's tears reflected in Aran's confused face.   
His venomous tongue broke free of all restraints, as the blood started boiling in his veins. 

"'Samu ya say." he shuffled closer, hands tucked away in his tracksuit's pockets, in a pathetic attempt to keep his fists at bay. "Oh he's good." 

Kita furrowed his brows, while Aran sighed, looking relieved.   
"I'm glad, I really thought something happened between the two of you or like, with us.." he scratched his head sheepishly "it's good to know that it's all cool". 

Atsumu was about to answer when he felt **i** **t** dripping down his hands.   
Aran picked the wrong moment to extend his hand towards the blond, expecting a handshake or a bro-high-five or something like that, because the second he did Atsumu saw it on him too.   
The black, slimy thing.   
It was drizzling from the boy's fingers, slowly but constantly. Pooling on the ground, next to his feet. 

On the other hand, Atsumu's tracksuit was already drenched, but he didn't dare remove his clenched fists from its pockets. 

"Get away from me". That murderous tone again. 

It stunned everyone into silence, until Akagi huffed in annoyance. "Ya always had a dirty mouth but I swear it gets worse every da-" he didn't get to finish the sentence, unluckily, because Atsumu's reins broke and his self control went to shit. He grabbed Aran by the jacket and pushed him to the ground, screaming out in frustration. 

"Ya have it on your hands too!" 

He hadn't exerted enough strength to really hurt the other, but the guilt built up in his chest all the same. His ears hurt again. 

"Ya should've stayed with him. Ye'r older, it's yer fault, yer fault - understood?? That's why..that's why it's on yer hands too!"

* * *

If Atsumu were to say he had no recollection of what had happened after that, he wouldn't be lying. Breathing had become too hard of a task yet again, and everything had gone foggy. 

As of now, he was sitting on a bench in that same park, Akagi was no longer there but Kita and Aran were sitting next to him. Not too close, thankfully.

"Atsumu" said the eldest "are you feeling better?".

Nodding felt like a lie, but he did so anyway. They sat in silence until Aran broke the silence, voice cracking ever so slightly.  
"I knew something had happened that Saturday, whatever it was, I'm really sorry Atsumu. 'Samu told me he was staying with a friend of his, I really wanted to go check up on him but it was late and I had to bring the others home. I just- did he get back okay? Did he take the train?". 

Atsumu couldn't help but chuckle at the question. He must've looked like such an asshole. His friend was worried sick and profusely apologizing for something that didn't even depend on him at all, and he still had the audacity to be sarcastic. Kita hadn't been kidding when he told him he had "bitch DNA" back during his first year at Inarizaki. 

"Yeah, he took the train". 

Silence. Uncomfortable and tense. 

Minutes passed, no one dared to interrupt the stillness. 

Atsumu sighed, mind now clearer, he stood up and planned to head back to his house when Kita's eyes stunned him back into silence. He stood, still, in front of them, waiting. 

"You said he had it on his hands too. What were you referring to, Atsumu-san?". Cutting, demanding. The voice that had always been able to control the Disaster Twins. 

Atsumu sat down again, and found himself spilling his guts for the second time that day.

"I can actually feel it, it's slimy and liquid-ish. I saw it both on me and ya." Chin tilting towards to the former Inarizaki Ace. 

Aran had stilled, while Kita listened silently. Ever so poised. 

"Should I just get this over with? I would justify myself by saying that 'Samu will kill me if I tell you although..right now' Samu won't do shit." Brown eyes locked with two other pairs. "But if I tell ya there's no going back". 

Aran gulped audibly but nodded in encouragement. Who he was encouraging, Atsumu didn't know. 

"He went over to a dude's place. This guy got him drunk and forced himself on him. He got back after-". A echo of shouts interrupted the dreadful narration and Atsumu, for his part, was almost glad. Telling that story was like hitting himself in the face with a baseball bat. 

Aran was petrified and repeatedly yelling "are you serious??", but Atsumu was focused on the former captain.   
Kita had never, ever lost his cool before. Not in front of them at least. Now though, he looked like he just saw a ghost.   
"Atsumu tell me you're not kidding about something like this because that's a crime, that's a fucking crime that's...". 

Atsumu snapped "Why would I ever lie about that". It wasn't a question and no one answered it. 

"Atsumu I-I don't know what to say, oh my God". It wasn't long until Aran started sobbing into Atsumu's shoulder, soaking his shirt in tears. Kita was still sitting straight, rigid, and his eyes were wide open, full of surprise and hurt. 

"And now...now what? What do we do?" 

Atsumu shrugged. "'Samu wasn't home when I got back. I wanted to talk to him but I" he looked at his friends, hoping to find some answers in their gazes. However, there were none. "I have no idea what to tell him". 

"Who else knows?"   
"Ya guys and Hinata Shoyou, the shrimpy kid from Karasuno, he actually was the one that convinced me to talk to 'Samu".

"Suna doesn't know"   
Atsumu nodded, Aran dried his eyes with the back of his hand. "We have to do something, we can't just let the guy who did this go unpunished". 

Kita's face darkened. "I don't think that 'Samu would remember his name, or where he lived for the matter. He must've been pretty damn drunk. And even if he did, do we have proof?". 

All three of them came to a conclusion they didn't like. Silence again. 

"I'm not asking my fuckin' brother to show me if he has bruises. I don't want to..see that". A small part of him actually did, but the bigger one was way too scared to even think about it. 

Kita nodded in agreement. "He should be the one to propose that as a solution, plus we don't know if he really has any marks on his body. The first thing he should do would be to tell an adult. Your parents, the coach, a professor maybe".

Atsumu pictured his mother's crying face as she hugged Osamu as tight as she possibly could, sobbing as she kissed the top of his head and caressed his back. He imagined his father, trembling in anger and pain, as he watched his child explain how he got... No, he thought, he was sure he couldn't face something like that. 

"He would never, he's way too proud" and Aran was right. Osamu was proud, he didn't like to show it but he was, sometimes even more so than his twin. He liked to play the part of the silent one, but deep down they were the same, bones and flesh and everything else. The thought hurt Atsumu so hard and deep that he had to gasp to catch his breath. 

"Okay let's procede slowly" thankfully Kita was back to his usual leader self. "first ya talk to him, try to convince him to tell all his friends, at the very least. Tell him we know, 'Tsumu, he won't get mad. If ya have to, tell him we found out on our own, somehow. Once we all know, we'll come up with something. We have to move fast though, because the bruises, if he has any, will disappear sooner or later".

Atsumu was feeling nauseous but nodded in understanding.   
"I'll try my best. Thank ya guys, really". 

* * *

The door shut close behind his back, and Atsumu stalked slowly into the house, wary of any noise. He really, really needed to talk to Osamu.   
The table wasn't set, clear evidence that no one had prepared dinner nor had any intention to do so, which was a bad sign itself because Osamu loved to cook, and Atsumu was hopeless without him. 

Proceding into the corridor, with maximum caution, Atsumu leaned his head on his brother's door. Nothing could be heard.  
He twisted the doorknob slowly and entered the room. Osamu was laying pretty much like the day before, all cuddled up in his bed, sleeping soundly.

That was good. Resting had to be positive, right?

After closing the door as silently as he possibly could, Atsumu went back to the kitchen. He set up the table, a bit randomly but it was the thought that counted, wasn't it?  
He opted for instant ramen, not wanting to set the house on fire. He actually managed to spill some on the counter, but no other incidents occurred. As soon as everything was ready he went back to Osamu's room and knocked on the door. "'Samu, dinner's ready".

He sighed as he got no answer, and twisted the doorknob, feeling a slight dejá vu, to enter the room yet again. He found Osamu sitting on the bed, hair messy and sporting the greatest grumpy/sleepy frown ever.

Atsumu chuckled slightly, whistling jokingly. "Daamn, look at that bedhead. Hurry up loser, it's gonna get cold".

Osamu looked at him, seemingly contemplating the laws of the universe before sarcastically saying: "I know damn well ya can't cook to save yer life. What the hell did'ya do to my kitchen".

Atsumu smiled, genuinely, as he watched his brother drag his sleepy body to the other room.

They ate in comfortable silence, neither of them willing to break the fragile balance they had managed to establish.

Atsumu felt the need to say something, though. That stupid mouth of his be damned. So he cleared his throat and lowered his gaze on his brother.   
Osamu sighed and preceded him. "Who did'ya tell?". 

Atsumu basically choked on his own spit and had a wild coughing fit. "Wha-what do ya mean who did I tell".  
Osamu didn't look pissed, just not surprised at all. "I know yer dumb mouth didn't stay shut. Who did'ya tell?" 

Atsumu scratched his head, admitting his faults. "Kita-san and Aran. Also ehm, Sho-chan". 

Osamu hummed. "I woulda bet on Sakusa, ya always surprise me brother". 

Atsumu hesitated, he didn't know how to handle the conversation from this point, but he quickly decided that the worst was done. "They want to help, 'Samu. Kita-san suggested uhm, a kinda plan". 

Osamu shook his head and stood up from the chair. "I don't wanna hear it. I want to forget that asshole and that fuckin' night".

Atsumu was left gaping, mouth wide open. He stuttered something akin to "Why, what, you don't want him to pay for what he did to ya?".

"It never happened, ya better forget about it, and tell 'em to forget too. I don't wanna dwell on this".

"Ya can't be fuckin' serious".  
"I am serious".  
"What the fuck are ya saying, did'ya lose yer mind?? That man needs to end up in prison, I won't be able to sleep until I get to see him behind bars with my own eyes. 'Samu, he needs to pay". Osamu scoffed and walked to the living room, only to be stopped by his stubborn, bastard brother. He flinched immediately as Atsumu grasped his wrist to stop him from getting away. The blonde's eyes went wide.

"Why're ya flinching, I'm not doin' anything to ya".  
"Let me go".  
"Like hell I'm letting ya go, show me the bruises". Now it was Osamu's turn to look shocked. He stuttered excuses and tried to break free. Atsumu responded by caging him against the kitchen table.  
"Show me those fuckin' bruises. If ye'r shying away it means he hurt ya. What the fuck did he do". Demanding, cold. Both boys shivered at the sound of Atsumu's voice.

All that bullshit about not wanting to see the marks on his brother was dead and gone, Atsumu _needed_ to see it, wanted to witness the damage that had been done to hunt down the culprit and make sure he'd rot in jail. He would never be able to rest easy if he knew that guy was still out there. 

"I'm not letting ya go 'til ya show me".  
"Will ya leave me alone if I do?". Definitely not. "Yes".  
Osamu pushed him back and pulled his shirt up, dropping it on the neatest chair. He cocked up an eyebrow, as if he were challenging Atsumu to say something.

Dark handprints were evident on Osamu's sides and random, dark bruises were scattered all over his back. He was sporting one or two hickeys on his shoulder blades. Atsumu was rendered, for once, speechless.   
Well, at least until Osamu decided to speak again. "I'm not showing ya anymore, now fuck off ".   
Atsumu basically roared: "There's **_more_**?!". 

"I said fuck off".   
Osamu put his shirt back on, covering the landmine he had on his back, and went to the living room. 

Atsumu could see his hands visibly shaking, aching to punch something, or someone. He took a random jacket from the hangers at the entrance and barged outside. He hadn't even noticed it was pouring rain. He didn't care. 

His pace picked up and soon he was running, drenched and cold through the dark streets. He ended up at that door without a second thought and rang the doorbell. Once, twice, he was ready to do so again but the entryway opened. 

"Atsumu, what the fuck". Kiyoomi actually sounded concerned, it was a weird look on him. 

"Can I...no, forget it, I'm dripping wet I'd dirty yer floor-". The dark haired boy sighed and pulled him in a hug. It was warm and felt safe, and only God knew just how much Atsumu ached for warmth and safety. He hugged back, impossibly tight and lay his head in the crook of the other's neck. 

Atsumu decided he liked the rain. It made it harder to tell if one had been crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Number 2 is up! Tell me what you think!  
> As always, thank you for reading.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu is a little bit confused but he's got the spirit.

Atsumu spent the night at Sakusa's, sleeping on his weirdly comfortable couch, and woke up to no texts. That meant two things: 1. that his parents hadn't come back home at a decent time, once again, and 2. that Osamu hadn't cared enough about his whereabouts to ask him where he would be spending the night.

He had to head back to his house in order to get his textbooks, but Osamu seemed to have already left.   
Atsumu was honestly at a loss, he didn't know how to proceed or how to convince his twin to report the aggression. He didn't want to reveal Osamu's secret without the latter's permission, but if left with no choice, he would be forced to.

Kiyoomi hadn't asked any questions, but by now it must have been quite evident to him that something huge was going on between the twins. Atsumu had had a really hard time not spilling the beans in front of the curly ravenette, but the mere idea of further pissing off his brother discouraged him from doing so.  
He needed Osamu to be on the same page as him, to collaborate, otherwise they would all get nowhere.

With this newfound source of enlightenment, Atsumu confidently marched to school.  
Osamu sat with them at lunch for the first time in three days and saying it was awkward would be an understatement. Aran could barely look at him in the eyes, and even if Kita tried to put up his usual indifferent act, he was just as uneasy. Akagi was always pretty wary, after the previous day's events, and did his best to avoid any kind of interaction with the twins. Atsumu, on his part, was watching his brother's every move, and by doing this he found the solution to the problem: Suna Rintarou.

Osamu seemed almost normal when sitting next to Suna, he looked happier and more serene, but a trained eye could easily tell it was all for show. Which probably meant that Osamu didn't ever want SunaRin to find out about his "accident", and if Atsumu had to play the part of the jerk and use this information to blackmail his brother into suing, then he would.

He talked it out with Kita and Aran, and both agreed with him, even if a bit reluctantly.

One thing Atsumu kept to himself was the discovery of the bruises, even if he wanted to involve his friends and benefit from their help, those felt too personal and too raw, he couldn't bring himself to talk about them even if he wanted to.

He waited for Osamu at home that same afternoon, and ran up to him as soon as the silven haired teen walked through the entrance.

"I have an offer for ya".  
Osamu barely looked at him before pushing him out of the way. "I don't wanna hear it".  
"'Samu, ya better listen to me well because I'm not about to repeat this. I'll say this once. I don't care if ye'r gonna hate me for it" the silver haired boy walked past, headed to the kitchen. "I have to do it, jerk, but I'm giving ya a choice here so would ya please listen?".

Osamu stopped lazily on his tracks and turned around, facing his twin.  
"I'm gonna tell SunaRin".  
"Don't you fuckin' dare". Osamu was already all over Atsumu's personal space, grabbing him harshly by the jacket.  
"I'm gonna do it 'Samu, if" Atsumu relished in all the attention the other was giving him. "If you'll still insist on saying ya won't press charges. But if ya decide to cooperate I won't".  
He paused, giving the other time to understand his words.   
"I promise, if ya agree mom and dad won't find out, ever, and neither will Suna. It's the best option for all of us".

Osamu stared at him for what felt like an eternity and his eyes were undecipherable, but Atsumu was confident. His brother was smart, he always bragged about being the smarter twin and Atsumu was giving him the chance of finally proving it.   
Just as he thought, the silver haired boy nodded slightly, adding a concise "Deal".

"Deal, one more condition though. We'll tell Kiyoomi".  
" _You_ 'll tell him, I'll just testify to the police. Don't expect me to do anything else".  
"That's more than enough." he paused. "'Samu"

"What?"

"Thank you".

  


* * *

The car was silent, the only noise that could be heard was the one the tires made by rubbing against the asphalt. Osamu was sitting in the back, next to Kita. Aran was driving, nervously tapping on the steering wheel with his fingers, and Atsumu was riding shotgun next to him. 

It took them around an hour and a half to get to Kyoto, as, fortunately, not many people were driving around at ten in the evening.  
Atsumu couldn't honestly tell who felt more anxious between the four people, as they got to the police station that was closest to the infamous club. 

They had decided to go report the crime in Kyoto, too afraid that their city's local authorities would want to involve the Miya's parents in the case. That was the last thing any of them wanted to happen. Plus, being closer to the crime scene could turn out to be useful for the investigation. Or so they hoped.

"Uhm" Kita was fidgety and his voice wasn't stable "'Samu do you want us to come inside with you?". Osamu didn't even think about the answer for a second. "No".   
Aran's face fell, eyes looking everywhere but at the silver haired boy, while Atsumu butted in instantly. "I'm coming with ya".   
"I don't want ya to".   
"I don't care, I dragged yer ass here and I'm coming in with ya, whether ya like it or not". 

* * *

  
It took way longer than expected and, just like he had feared, Atsumu was completely, utterly useless. He hadn't been there that night, he wasn't a witness and, consequently, he was of no help whatsoever. He was merely someone that shared the victim's DNA.   
Same face, same blood, same childhood memories. Different reasons to be in a police station late on a Thursday night. 

Osamu was currently talking to some kind of detective, and he still had to be visited by the designated doctor. He would have to show a shitty random medic those bruises that still haunted Atsumu's mind. He would have to be all alone, in a cold room, showing a stranger the purple marks, the reminders of that night. His **brother** was **alone** and vulnerable and Atsumu was starting to feel sick again. No matter how much he hated it though, because the blonde could only be patient and repress the familiar urge to vomit that was rising in his stomach. 

He noted that the waiting room looked positively awful, and renovations were definitely overdue. Someone should repaint those walls white, to match the alienating aura of the place; the current gray was so painfully dull it hurt Atsumu's eyes. 

The tears had started to slip past his eyelids before he even registered it, but even after acknowledging them, he still put no effort in trying to hold them back, fully knowing that he couldn't. 

_It should have happened to you, not to him._

Atsumu wasn't one to publicly show his feelings, he liked putting up his usual cheerful facade even when he was feeling blue. But not today. Today he let the teardrops roll free down his cheeks in copious amounts; he finally let himself truly feel the pain of the past few days. 

_It really should have been you, he's better than you are._

Atsumu's hands clenched tightly around his phone, eyes screwed shut, head hanging low as a few traitorous sobs ripped through his chest. 

He must have been looking like a hysterical weirdo, wailing like a child in a poorly furnished, police station waiting room. He decided not to care, for once; Shoyou had said everyone was allowed to be weak, hadn't he? Then he had the right to be too. 

He felt a soft touch on his shoulder and a woman's voice, compassionate and sympathetic, asking him a question he didn't really hear. Atsumu lifted his gaze and set it upon her, drying his eyes with the hem of his sweatshirt's sleeves. 

She looked kind, a tad too pitying for his liking, but he though it must have been normal, given the state of things. 

He tried his best to smile, choking out something that resembled a: "What?".  
The woman didn't have a problem repeating herself. "I said, do you want a tissue?". Oh. Atsumu nodded "Yeah, that would be nice. Thank you". 

He blew his nose and immediately thought of Kiyoomi. He had to stop linking him to dirty tissues, it wasn't flattering at all. It made him chuckle though. 

He thanked the lady again and she looked hesitant. "Are you..are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?". 

Atsumu couldn't tell who was more surprised between the two, she had probably said that out of compassion, not really thinking about her words before they came out of her mouth. She looked like she was regretting them now. 

But in all honesty, Atsumu did want to talk about it. Venting to a stranger, what could possibly be better than that? 

Before she could apologize for being invasive, he started to talk. "Something bad happened to my brother and I feel so fuckin' guilty".   
The lady immediately shut her lips, not wanting to interrupt. She hummed slowly and nodded.   
"I-I know that it's not technically my fault but I can't help but think..that everythin' would've been different if I had been with him. Ya know? We fight all the time and it's not like we talk to each other a lot, not of serious matters at least, but I love him to death and I wasn't there when he..", Atsumu fought back the sting in his eyes and sniffled loudly. She gently patted his back in reassurance. 

"It should've been me".   
"I don't think so". Atsumu couldn't help the stupefied look that took over his features. He arched his brows, confused. 

The woman awkwardly cleared her throat. "I mean, if the roles were reversed, your brother would be suffering just as much as you are now. Also, I'm sure neither you nor him deserved whatever happened." Atsumu nodded, albeit a bit unsure. 

"Bad things happen all the time, on top of that they hurt the best people, which is such a fucking messed up joke. You may be thinking that switching places would be better, but the truth is that none of you should have to suffer for something that someone else did. To me you seem like a great twin, by the way. I think he's proud to have you as a brother, and the fact that you're here, now, just further proves how much you care about him". 

Atsumu smiled, not his usual cheeky grin, he smiled from the eyes and nodded once again. He kept quiet for a while, reflecting on her words before saying: "You're definitely gonna be invited to my graduation ceremony as soon as I get my degree". The lady laughed, soft and kind, and it was like catching a breath of fresh air after being locked up in a basement. 

"I'm glad you're feeling better"  
"I am too". 

She waited next to him until Osamu came back. It was well past midnight when an officer escorted his brother to the waiting room, telling him something about a phone number and eventual news.

Atsumu stood up. The officer patted Osamu on the back, nodded at him and the lady and left. "How are ya? Took 'em long enough to get this over with".  
"I just wanna go home".

Atsumu's gaze softened, he put his arm around his brother's shoulder and turned to wave at the woman. "The invite thing is still on, I'll contact ya in like two years".

She laughed again and waved at them, watching with a smile as they headed out together.

  
On their way back, no one spoke again, but it was different this time. There was no tension, no anxiety, just sleepy tranquility. Atsumu was now sitting in the back, head leaning on his brother's shoulder, while Kita slept in the front seat. Aran was still driving, but he had stopped tapping on the steering wheel, and was quietly humming along to a song on the radio.

Osamu was looking out of the side window as Atsumu breathed something against the fabric of his t-shirt, where he was still laying his head.   
"Hmm?"  
"I said I'm proud of you"  
"Oh"

_ Blood of my blood, what would I do without you?  _

  
"You were brave, 'Samu"  
"Stop being a sap".  
Atsumu snorted but didn't object, and for the first time in days, Osamu smiled as he looked at the city lights quickly disappearing from their sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyye number 3 is up. Thank you all for reading. Feedback is greatly appreciated ❤️
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I wanted to spend a few words on Atsumu's behavior, because I feel like I need to clarify some things.  
> He definitely isn't handling the situation in the best way, instead he's messing up here and there, but that's exactly how I wanted to portray him. He's a stranger to the whole situation, he's never even thought of having to deal with anything this huge, and he's absolutely lost. He has no idea on how to act or how to communicate efficiently with Osamu, he's trying to figure everything out as the story progresses. He feels guilty and powerless, and that makes it harder for him to calmly think things through; on top of that he doesn't haven't his parents' support (or any adult's guidance for the matter).  
> What I want you to know is that he's really trying his best, he's just always been used to a different Osamu, one he could joke with and push around as he pleased. Both have inevitably changed after the main event, but they'll figure it out and go back to being the trouble duo that gave Kita multiple strokes.


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some SakuAtsu fluff because I'm soft for them, OsaSuna angst because we love suffering and a surprise appearance at the end!

"Aa'ight, teeth have been brushed, hands have been washed thoroughly and clothes have just come out of the dryer. Check this out". Atsumu twirled slowly, showing his "cleanliness" off the other male. Sakusa wasn't impressed. 

"That's literally bare minimum, Atsumu-san".   
Yeah and that pout might or might not have been adorable. 

"I don't need yer negativity in my life, I've decided I'm taking everything ya say as a compliment. Also, can we make out now?".

Kiyoomi sighed, just as he was starting to become attractive, Atsumu just had to fuck it up by opening his mouth, didn't he? "Gross".

The shorter boy plopped down ungracefully on the couch and stretched himself out like a cat, trying to reach the remote. 

"You know, you could have just stood up and taken it instead of smearing yourself all over me". Sakusa's disgusted expression made the other chuckle.  
"Oh shush, Omi-kun, ya know ya secretely love it when I'm all over ya". The asshole even had the audacity to wink, as he finally retrieved the device and moved back to his side of the couch, and if Sakusa's poker face game hadn't been top tier, he might have actually been blushing by now. 

"Got anything in particular you'd wanna watch?". Kiyoomi eventually snapped out of it, shaking his head no. "Not really, you can choose or we can just play something random".

Atsumu scrolled down the infinite list of movies he had in front of him, trying to find one that would catch his eye.  
"Oh this one is a classic, ever seen it Omi-Omi?". Pulp fiction? "I've heard of it, I'm not too fond of American movies".   
It looked like the remark had personally insulted Atsumu, because the way he clutched his chest and pretended to have been shot was just too dramatic, even for him. "We're watching this one then, ya can't go around and live yer life nonchalantly when you haven't even watched Pulp fuckin' Fiction". Kiyoomi just sighed in defeat. Arguing with the blonde was like speaking to a wall, why would he even bother? 

They did enjoy the film in the end, all cuddled up and snuggling against each other because Atsumu claimed the house was too cold to keep distant, that the germs had already frozen to death. Sakusa had actually stopped caring about the other man's eventual "germs" for a while now, so he didn't have a reason to turn down displays of affection. He did have a heart after all, and besides, who didn't like cuddles? 

He didn't miss the way the shortest boy tensed though, as Marsellus and Butch's notorious 'torture' scene approached. Atsumu actually asked him if they could skip that part and Kiyoomi's soul hurt a little. He had truly never watched the movie before, but it didn't take a genius to figure out the direction in which the plot was going. 

Honestly Kiyoomi had already started to figure the whole "Osamu situation" out a few days ago, but now he could be sure he knew what was really going on. He would never interfere, though; the silver haired twin was tenfold more private and discreet than his blond counterpart and Sakusa, being the huge introvert he was, could actually empathize with him. He would certainly offer his support if requested, but he'd otherwise stick to being Atsumu's voice of reason (read: emotional support boy). 

Back to the movie, he indulged   
the other male, gladly skipping the crude scene and maybe, just maybe, he started holding Atsumu a little tighter afterwards, started cradling him a little closer to his chest, to his speeding, wilding heart. 

* * *

"You can drop your backpack wherever, 'Samu, in the hallway or here next to the closet. Aw shit we're dripping wet, man, I hate the rainy season".

Osamu snickered, dropping his school bag in a corner of Suna's room as instructed. Rintarou slipped out of his soaked sweatshirt, grimacing as he did so. "Getting out of these jeans is gonna be a pain in the ass". 

"Need a hand?". Suna scoffed, seeing how Osamu was suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.   
"No need, I'm a big boy I'm sure I can manage. Even if it'll really be a struggle". He sighed in defeat. "By the way, you can go shower first, it'll take me a while here".

Osamu nodded, muttered: "Sure thing",   
and headed to the bathroom.  
He had always been comfortable in Suna's house: each and every last piece of furniture felt familiar, and so did the numerous rooms that made up the two storey building. It had been quite common for the two of them to spend one night a week together over at Rintarou's, so common that when they were younger Atsumu used to join them too sometimes. He'd stopped as they grew older, now claiming that they flirted too much for his "poor virgin eyes". As if. 

Rintarou lived alone with his mother, who was also closely acquainted with the Miya's parents and therefore treated the twins like part of her family.   
Osamu liked staying over, even when Suna's mom was present; she was warm and welcoming, and sometimes he selfishly wished his own mother could be like that. 

Under the scalding water he pondered her hypothetical reaction if he ever decided to reveal the truth. Would she get mad? She would probably be disappointed.

_I'm honestly baffled that you haven't told me sooner, Osamu._

Had she even noticed that he was hurt? Atsumu had said something about that, the night he found out. 

_"Oi 'Samu fuckin' talk to me or I'll lose my patience. Did'ya fight with Suna? Is that why ye'r pathetically moping? Volleyball shit? Is it school related? Mom told me it was nothing but she clearly didn't see ya this way."_

She definitely hadn't. 

Hadn't she spotted his tear stained pillow? Noted the fact that he had stopped cooking dinner for the rest of them? Seen the way he had got thinner in the span of a few days? 

No to all of that. Osamu guessed that was what happened when one's parents were always working, barely came home and had anonexistent relationship with their children. He promised to himself that he would never turn out to be that way. 

Deep down though, there was a lingering beacon of hope, which made Osamu imagine that she would hug him tight, tell him he didn't need to worry anymore because from that point forward, she would take care of every single thing. He imagined that she would embrace Atsumu too, and tell him he had done good.

Osamu deemed it as mere wishful thinking. 

He got out of the shower and wrapped the towel that lay on the sink around his hips.   
He caught his reflection in the bathroom's wide mirror and couldn't help but get closer to examine himself in depth. He didn't look as bad as he expected; his build had always been identical to Atsumu's (like literally every other part of his physique) and, although he was now slightly thinner, not too much had changed. The eye bags were a new addition but they didn't bother him too much, at least now he could match with Suna. He was still in the middle of his self-analysis when the door opened and Rintarou's dark head peaked in. "'Samu I brought you some clean clothes. You forgot to take them with you earlier". 

Osamu was about to thank him before remembering he was shirtless. He immediately froze and the words died in his mouth. 

"'Samu? Hey, what are those on your back. Did you fall?". There it was. Osamu closed his eyes, not wanting to witness the moment Suna understood where the bruises had come from and just _what kind_ of marks they were. They stood in silence for an undefined amount of time. 

"Osamu". That tone was different from Atsumu's. His brother's had been charged with rage and fear, while Rintarou's was quiet and collected. Pitying. 

He'd choose anger over pity any day. 

The shorter boy turned around suddenly, snatched the clothes out of the other's hands and locked the door. 

_Get outta here_

He started dressing roughly with what he'd been given, shoving on one of Suna's t-shirt, a pair of his sweatpants and an old Inarizaki hoodie. 

_Quickly_

He was out of the bathroom in record time, grabbed his backpack as Suna started stuttering out "wait's" and "Osamu's". 

Rintarou caught up to him the moment he reached the front door, and gently tugged at his sweatshirt. "'Samu, you don't have to explain, you can stay here regardless".

"Let go" he said, and Suna instantly complied. "I'll bring ya back yer clothes as soon as they're washed".

With that he was out, out of the house he loved that was slowly transmuting into a cage. 

* * *

"Where were ya bro? I was waiting for ya so that we could have dinner together and I'm hungry as hell. If I knew ya were gonna eat somewhere else I would'a let Kiyoomi stay over". 

"Was at Rintarou's". Osamu kicked off his shoes and dropped down his bag at the entrance. 

"Ooh, so ya were letting yer brother starve to be with the lover boy". 

No answer. 

"'Samu? Where're ya going? 'Samu what happened?". Atsumu followed his brother to the bathroom, where he was already furiously undressing.   
Wait, weren't those SunaRin's clothes? 

"He knows. He saw". 

Those were the only words that his twin spent on the topic, all too focused on filling the bathtub with water and throwing in Rintarou's belongings. 

Atsumu's mind was running a mile trying to put the all puzzle pieces back together. He spoke then, not very eloquently. 

"You-he, he saw the bruises?". Atsumu glanced over his brother's bare shoulders and noted that they were indeed still there. Less purple than the first time he had seen them, but still evident on milky white skin. He immediately averted his gaze. "Wait, why the fuck are ya washing those clothes-'Samu, 'Samu calm down a second and take a breath".

He took the other's hands in his and carefully removed the wet fabric from his brother's grip. 

"Hey, breathe, just like that." The panicked hurry in Osamu's eyes seemed to dissipate momentarily as he focused on the task at hand.

In and out, slowly. 

"Good, good. Now will ya tell me what happened so that we can figure out a solution together?". 

It took the silver haired boy some time, but he eventually started talking. "We forgot to bring an umbrella to class and when we reached Rintarou's place we were drenched. I showered first but I forgot to take the change to the bathroom, he brought it to me and then he saw". Osamu had begun to shiver, whether it be for the fact that he was only wearing underwear or for a different reason, Atsumu didn't know. 

"Hey, c'mon, I'm sure he...I'm sure he'll be reasonable, SunaRin is not an idiot". 

The silver head was hanging low, eyes fixated on the tile floor. 

"He wasn't s'pposed to ever know. I _didn't want him to know,_ anyone but him. I'm never gonna be able to face him again". Atsumu frowned. 

"Listen we've known him for years, he's one of our closest friends, I don't understand why ya can't trust him with this, out of all people. He knows ya way more than.. I don't know, Sho-chan for example". 

Osamu's eyes looked ferocious as he spat out: "Little reminder, I didn't fuckin' tell 'Sho-chan', ya did". Atsumu's lips immediately sealed shut, guilt beginning to gnaw at his insides. "And no one can be compared to him. Understood?". 

Atsumu should've known better than to rebut, but he didn't. "Okay, I know and I'm very sorry about that. For real. But I still fail to see the problem, I mean it's not like ya could've done something..-It's not yer fault, so why should he react badly-".

Osamu stalked closer. "It's not about how he reacts". He was hissing, evidently seething like never before. "It's that he shouldn't have known. HE SHOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN." Tears were starting to well up in those dark eyes, dangerously threatening to overflow, but they didn't stop the boy from raging. "I love him, but how will he see me now? What'cha say 'Tsumu, how will he fuckin' see me now". Gasping sobs ripped through his twin's chest as he grabbed Atsumu by the t-shirt and shoved him around repeatedly. "I need to wash his clothes because I'm **dirty** ". He was slurring his words, choking on his own ragged breaths. "And he will never love me back because I'm **damaged**!". 

Atsumu's eyes went open wide at the declaration. After the initial stupor his face went dark. "Never say that again".   
"It's the truth"   
"You're not damaged!" the blond basically roared in response. "I won't allow ya to talk like that about yourself".

Osamu released his grip and took a step back, it looked like his anger had melted away, leaving space for sadness and hurt. "And why is that? Doesn't this look like a wreck to ya?", he said while pointing at himself. 

"No, it doesn't. Don't make that face Miya Osamu I'm as serious as they come. Ye'r not a wreck, ye'r my brother. And if SunaRin doesn't like ya because of what happened, which is totally not true anyway, I'll personally kick his ass into the next century". 

They looked at each other for quite some time, before Osamu sighed. "Ya may be stupid but ya do have a way with words".

Atsumu finally smiled and suddenly pulled his twin into a rib-breaking hug. Osamu hugged back for a moment, before becoming unbelievably tense. Atsumu didn't know if he dared to turn around, didn't know if he had the courage to face whatever it was that the other boy had seen. Instead he buried his face into his brother's neck and clang closer to him. 

  
He couldn't even tell if Osamu was breathing, until he heard him whisper one single word. 

"Dad?". 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with number 4. Man this one was hurt to write. Good news though, things will officially start to go uphill from here.  
> Let me know what you think and, as usual, thank you for reading❤️
> 
> Clarification time: the scene Atsumu and Kiyoomi are talking about is the part in which one of the main characters gets sexually assaulted. Atsumu obviously didn't remember the scene being part of the movie, he chose the movie because he likes it and he has never given the scene much thought. It all comes to show how his perception of life has changed after the traumatic event; he has started to see things from a different point of view, it's become harder for him to stand violence, especially the graphic kind that is represented in movies, and he's clearly not willing to watch anything that involves abuse.


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this me letting Osamu be happy? Impossible.
> 
> Ladies and gents, things aren't going south anymore, the worst is over.
> 
> WARNING: brief mention of self-harm towards the end of the chapter, although it's only hypothetical.

  
"..Boys?"

Atsumu gulped audibly before releasing the grip around his brother, and turning around slowly to face their father, who looked stunned, confused and something else that was hard to identify. 

No one spoke for a long time. Seconds turned to excruciatingly slow minutes. 

Dad was silent, just staring. He sized up the blond first, as he was the closest one to his line of sight, but when he seemed to have found nothing wrong with him and his eyes skipped to the silver haired boy, Atsumu reacted faster. He moved in front of Osamu, arms wide open before his twin's bare torso, shielding him from that investigating gaze. 

_Protect your brother_

"'Tsumu what are you-"   
"Get out dad". 

_With anything you have_

"Move, I just want to-"

Atsumu saw the shiny black substance flow down the man's arms, all the way down to his hands. It pooled at his feet just as it had with Aran. He stood up straighter in front of Osamu. 

He sounded angrier than he thought he would as he yelled: "I said get out!". 

  
Their father looked flabbergasted, and didn't seem to be able to find the will to fight his most stubborn son. He silently left the bathroom, still wearing _that_ look that couldn't be deciphered.

Osamu broke down behind his brother, knees hitting the ground as he flopped down on the cold floor unceremoniously. 

* * *

Dinner was hell.

Atsumu wasn't exactly the religious type, but he was sure that if hell existed, it would be situated in his kitchen. None of the twins were eating; both had tried nibbling at their food, but the wave of sickness that washed over them thereafter brought away every last bit of hunger they may have initially felt. 

Their father was silent, looking down at his plate. He opened and closed his mouth a thousand times, but no words ever came. Until. 

"I'm sorry". 

The twins looked at each other, questioning looks displayed on their identical faces. They echoed in unison: "Ya're sorry?". 

Were their father's eyes red? "I am, I should've...If I had spent more time at home maybe". 

Whatever Osamu was expecting, this wasn't it. Where was the disappointment that should've coated the man's voice, where was the disgust? Where was the crippling guilt he himself should've been feeling for knowing he had let down his parents? 

"Can you forgive me? 'Samu? The both of you? Can you please forgive me? I'll try to do better I-".

They weren't used to seeing their parents cry, the only time it had happened was at grandma's funeral, twelve years ago. 

Dad extended his arms over the table, taking his son's hands in each of his'. 

"You don't have to tell me what happened, but I'll be here now, if you still want me. Okay?". Atsumu's jaw was hanging open. Osamu was looking in the opposite direction, somewhere to his right, at the living room's wall clock maybe. 

Atsumu didn't think he'd speak, but he was wrong. The silver haired teen took a deep breath and locked eyes with their father. 

"Happened on Saturday, I was in Kyoto, got too drunk and uhm, slept with a guy. But like not...consentingly. I already reported it to the police". 

Dad looked like he had just been hit by a truck, and psychologically, that was probably what had just happened.   
He stuttered and tried to regain his composure, desperately failing at doing so. 

"You went alone? To the police station?"   
"I wasn't alone, 'Tsumu came with me". 

Atsumu wasn't ready for the all gratitude he was being looked at with. 

"We went to Kyoto, that's why they didn't call ya or mom. Also, we kinda told them not to."

Then Dad suddenly stood up from his seat, kneeled down in front of Osamu and laid his forehead on the boy's hands. The silver haired teen tensed, but his shoulders slacked off almost immediately. His clouded eyes became kinder too, as the tears he had become way too used to shedding started running freely down his cheeks. 

"Osamu, I'm begging you to forgive me. Give me another chance. I promise I'll be here for you, I swear on my life. I'm so sorry child, why - oh God, I'm so sorry..." Loud sobs cut off the man's words and he gripped the boy's hands tighter in his, face buried deep against them. 

'Samu sounded gentle and tired. 

"Dad, stand up, I've already forgiven ya."

* * *

Atsumu collapsed on the couch and checked his phone for the time. 11:24 pm.   
Man, that evening had been tough. 

After the emotional exchange between his brother and father the mood had lightened a bit. The three of them even managed to watch TV together for a while, before Osamu announced he'd be going to sleep, at around 10:40. No one had objected. 

His father had consequently retreated to the bathroom in order to take a shower, while Atsumu had gone out for a walk. It always helped him clear his mind, and he could also call up Kiyoomi for some extra company. 

He turned on Netflix for some background noise and distractedly scrolled through social media, answered some unread texts. "Can I sit next to you?"

Atsumu glanced up and sighed. "Stop bein' so polite, old man. C'mon, here".   
He scooted over as his father chuckled lightly, leaving him enough space to settle onto the sofa. 

They enjoyed each other's silence for a while until the older man decided to take the floor. "I know you said to 'stop bein' so polite'-" 

"Damn right I said that, it sounds weird on ya". Just one look was enough to make the blond shut up, even if it didn't erase the mischievous smile from his face. "-But even if you said that, I have to disobey this once. I have to thank you". 

Thank him? For what? 

"For what?"   
"For staying next to 'Samu, for bringing him to the police station. I'm sorry it had to fall upon you". 

Oh. 

Before he could muster up an answer, Dad continued. "It should've been your mother and I's responsibility but we failed you boys." Pause. "You know, when I saw you move in front of him in the bathroom it left me speechless".   
Atsumu gulped and averted his gaze. That may have been a little bit extreme, but he was completely out of it in that moment. The only thought that ran through his mind was: _protect him for all the times you never could._

"No don't misunderstand, I'm not scolding you, I wasn't mad at you." 

The boy hesitated. "You weren't?". 

"No, I was mad at myself. You shielded him from me like I was the bad guy, and I'm not blaming you, because I really must've felt like the bad guy. But I was mad at myself for turning into someone you two couldn't trust. The way you acted was like a slap in the face, but it helped me realize my faults".

"So...you're thanking me for that?". 

Dad let out a mixture of a sigh and an exasperated laugh. "No, 'Tsumu, I'm thanking you for defending him when no one else would". The man planted a quick kiss on the boy's forehead and moved to stand up from the couch.   
Atsumu stopped him, holding his arm. Dad wore a questioning look, but soon sat back down, ready to listen to everything his son had to say. 

"I don't deserve that. I messed up a lot of times these days. I think.., no, I know I've been too demanding, too aggressive. I even blackmailed him into reporting, but I only had that one chance. 'Samu wouldn't have listened otherwise". 

His father's expression softened and he put an arm around the boy's shoulder. "You couldn't have known how to handle a situation like this. Not even I know, and I'm almost thirty years older than you".

Atsumu sighed. "I think it'll take him a while to forgive me though". 

"Forgive you?"  
"Yeah"   
"Oh 'Tsumu", the grip on his shoulder tightened. "You definitely haven't seen the way he looks at you". 

* * *

Mom never cried, at least not in front of them, but she did apologize profusely and made sure to hug her sons tight anytime they seemed to be even a little off. She went to the police station with Dad to talk to the agents, get filled in on the latest news and become officially involved in the case. And with that, with their parents on their side, the twins' hearts finally began to feel lighter. 

Consequently, Osamu decided to tell everyone, every single one of his friends. When Atsumu asked him about his sudden change of mind, he simply answered: "Things have gotten better since Mom and Dad knew, I think it's fair to tell 'em too". 

And that's how they all ended up in the university's volleyball gym, sat in a circle, nervously hanging on the gray haired teen's every word. 

Atsumu expected him to dance around the topic a bit, not to be so blunt, but Osamu had always been hard to figure out. The moment someone thought they had finally cracked his code, they were presented with a completely different outcome than the one that had been imagined. Atsumu usually took pride in being able to read his brother's intentions, but it didn't always work. Like today, for instance. 

His brother announced: "I was raped, a week ago on Saturday night". 

He had used _that_ word, the one that Atsumu had been too much of a coward to even think about, and he had used it so casually, like it was the most common term in the world. It probably meant he was beginning to accept it, and that was, unquestionably, a positive sign. 

  
It did have a strong impact on everyone else, though.

Beside for the two people who had already been told, and for Kiyoomi, who was too smart for his own good, every other person in the room wore a different, scandalized face, accompanied with various yells and exclamations. Pandemonium ensued instantaneously. 

Atsumu counted around 20 people in the room: the 14 former Inarizaki members (and Heisuke Riseki, who was still finishing third year of high school) plus their old coach, Kiyoomi, the Komori dude 'Samu had become friends with and a bunch of his brother's classmates. 

And these were just their closest pals. 

And every single one of said close pals was wreaking havoc right now. 

The blond glanced at his brother, who looked weirdly calm. Atsumu had a feeling that he wasn't pretending, that Osamu really did feel calm, and lighter. He didn't have to keep that dire secret to himself anymore, he had probably just started to breathe again, for the first time since bloody Saturday. 

SunaRin stood up first, in the midst of chaos, and ran up to Osamu, hugging the life out of him. Atsumu managed to make out his twin's "Rin I can't breathe", and couldn't help but snort to himself when Suna didn't even try to release his hold on the shorter male. 

_Yeah sure 'Samu, he definitely doesn't like you back. How oblivious can ya even be_.

One by one everybody else got a chance to talk to Osamu; some apologized, lots cried (especially Coach Oomi) and innumerable hugs were exchanged. The silver haired boy had to tell the story in detail, to stop _some people_ (read: Ōmimi, Ginjima and Suna himself) from going on a murder spree in Kyoto, explaining the dynamics of the night and that he didn't remember the attacker's name or address. 

Atsumu, after having made sure that his brother could handle the situation, wandered off to Kiyoomi, who was chatting with the Komori dude. 

Who was this guy and what was up with his fuckin' eyebrows anyway? They looked like tiny caterpillars. 

_You are one jealous piece of shit._

The blond slinged his arm around Sakusa's shoulders, resting his chin on the taller boy. "What're ya lads discussing about?". He smirked and Kiyoomi frowned. Atsumu took pride in being obnoxious, he always had. 

Komori still kept that gentle expression on his face as he smiled at the blond.  
"Hi, Atsumu-san, I don't think we've ever been properly introduced. I'm Komori Motoya".

"Yeah I've heard of ya from my brother". 

The brunette nodded, and then got suddenly really serious. "I'm extremely sorry for what happened to Osamu, if I can be helpful in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me, for anything, even in the middle of the night". 

Fuck, how was one supposed to dislike this... this _fluffy_ kid? Atsumu sighed and nodded. 

"Thank ya, Komori-san. Osamu told me ye'r a good friend to him. I'm really glad he has ya on his side."

Motoya's smiled bloomed again as he, too, nodded his head. He was about to leave, presumably to go talk to the shorter Miya now that the crowd around him had slightly dissipated, before turning back towards the other two. 

"Oh and Atsumu-san, congrats on getting Kiyoomi to be your boyfriend, many have died trying. You must be pretty special if my cousin talks about you as much as he does."

Wait. Boyfriend? Cousin?

Atsumu's smirk grew twice in size as he connected the dots, and he could feel Sakusa literally freeze from where he was leaning on his shoulder. Komori looked fully conscious of what he had done, and he was hella smug about it. He waved at them and headed to the rest of the group. 

"So boyfriend uh?"   
"Shut up, I'm never going to talk to you ever again."   
"But ye'r talking to me now, oi. Oi, Omi-Omi come back here. C'mon ya wouldn't wanna leave yer boyfriend alone would ya. Sweetie, baby wait up!". 

* * *

Atsumu was smiling from ear to ear as he and Osamu headed home. His brother seemed to finally be happy too, to some extent. It looked good on him nonetheless; pain wasn't made to be staining the silver haired boy's features, it had no place on his face. 

"What's with yer shit-eating grin. What's gotten ya so complacent?". Atsumu glanced up at his brother. 

"Kiyoomi told his cousin I'm his boyfriend". Just thinking about it ignited fireworks in his stomach.   
"Cousin?"  
"Oh yeah, yer friend Komori, great guy by the way, he's Omi's cousin".   
Osamu looked surprised. He added: "They don't look alike", to which Atsumu agreed. "Not even one bit". 

They walked in silence for a bit, a nice, peaceful silence, which was interrupted by Atsumu, of course. 

"But I'm also happy for ya. Things turned out better than we'd expected". Osamu nodded in agreement. "I mean, I think ya made the right choice, sharing the weight with them will probably make it easier. Not to mention that now ya have a whole protection squad, like straight-up bodyguard shit. Did'ya see the look on Ginjima? Man I was fearing for my own life and I haven't even done anything ".

His brother chuckled lightly, breathily, and it filled Atsumu's chest with pride.

_'Samu is better. 'Samu is laughing._

He couldn't help but add: "And SunaRin is head over heels for ya, don't even try to deny it because I'm not blind. I have perfect vision on both eyes, ya scrub."

Osamu flipped him off, but kept on laughing for the whole way home.  
Atsumu felt like he was on top of the world. 

"'Tsumu."  
He turned his head towards his brother. "Hhm?"

"I'm never gonna repeat this so make sure to listen well." He paused to make the concept clearer. The blond gave him his full attention. 

"I owe ya my life, if it weren't for ya I would probably be slitting my wrists in a tub by now, or some shit like that.

It still hurts, I still get nightmares, but when I wake up I have a bunch of people who're willing to help me and hear me out...and it's all thanks to ya. Ye'r still a jackass and I hated some of the things ya did at the beginning, like the blackmailing thing, but I understand yer reasons now. 

So, uhm, thank ya, ye'r the best brother I could ever wish for."

Atsumu was rendered speechless, never in a million years would he have expected his twin to say something like that. He wasn't even ashamed to admit that his eyes had filled up with tears towards the end of the discourse, too elated to care about looking like a whiny loser. 

He tackled Osamu in an attempt to hug him, ending up on the ground with his brother next to him. "Are ya fuckin' dumb? Ye'r heavy, get the fuck off of my leg". Atsumu didn't even listen, he launched himself on top of the other and both ended up rolling on the grass next to the sidewalk. "Oi, have ya turned mental?? Get the fuck off!", but Osamu was laughing so loudly, eyes crinkling and shoulders shaking, as he spoke those words that Atsumu didn't even take them into consideration. 

They lay in the grass for a while, catching their breaths while hysterically giggling, probably looking like two morons to eventual passersby. None of them cared. 

"'Samu."   
"What."   
"I love ya."   
"Disgusting, fuckin' sap. I love ya too". 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy this chapter was hard to write, but I'm happy with how it turned out. The story is heading towards its ending, I'll probably add two or three more chapters and then wrap it up. Let me know what you thought of this! As always, thank you for reading ❤️


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some OsaSuna fluff, Atsumu being a nuisance and, of course, drama.

Six Months Later

Atsumu rolled around his bed, yawning loudly. The first thing he did after opening his eyes and figuring out his name, was checking his phone, scrolling through Twitter and then texting Kiyoomi.

You  
> Hi baby, how'd it go yesterday? 10:35

Omi🥰  
> all good  
> mom liked the gift, she says to thank you. 10:37

You  
> I'm glad she did  
> what time r u coming back today? 10:38

Omi🥰  
> train leaves at 2 pm. 10:38

You  
> so you can make it tonight?? 10:41

Omi🥰  
> yeah, tell Kita-san I'll be there, are you guys going with Suna's car? 10:42

You  
> yep  
> wanna come with us? 10:43

Omi🥰  
> sure 10:43

You  
> aight I'll tell 'em. 10:45

Atsumu sprang out of bed, suddenly feeling energized. Kiyoomi had left two days ago to go back home, in Tokyo, and spend some time with his family in occasion of his parents' anniversary . He was luckily going to come back in time to attend Kita's birthday party that evening.

He just had to convince SunaRin to give Sakusa a ride, but he was sure it was going to be quite easy.

He didn't even bother knocking on his brother's door, choosing the less moderate approach of just barging in loudly. He announced his entrance with: "Good morning people! Eww, naked skin. Wear a shirt for fuck's sake. This is so unseemly, so indecent!".

Osamu groaned, hiding his face in his boyfriend's chest. Suna just huffed next to him, lazily opening an eye to look at Atsumu, who was standing by the door with his trademark, annoying-ass smile on his face.

"What the fuck do you want Atsumu?".  
The blond fake-gasped, acting offended. "Okay first of all, ye'r the one who's been sleeping in my house, and with my brother, I shall add-".

"Jesus Christ". Rintarou put one of the white pillows he was sleeping on, on top of his face, trying to shut out the sound of Atsumu's voice. It was way too irritating that early in the morning.

"-and that gives me the right to intrude whenever I want, however many times I please. But anyway, before being brutally insulted in my own personal _domicile_ -"  
"Is that even a word?"  
"I mean I think so, anyway, what was I saying? Okay I'll cut the crap, hey! 'Samu I can see you reaching for the slipper. I can't believe the disrespect!". Atsumu moved just fast enough to avoid getting hit in the head. His brother had a great aim for someone who was still in dreamland. 

"Fine, fine, Geez. I'll tell you both when you get up, but make it fast because I'm hungry".

Suna murmured something akin to: "You can't always count on your brother to cook for you. You're almost twenty", from under the pillow he still had on his head.

"SunaRin ye'r being a little too bold this morning. Also a little too audacious for being the one who stole my dearest 'Samu here from me". He pointed at his twin, who was still half asleep and couldn't care less about his rambling.

"And just know that ya won't be able to monopolize his cooking".

Suna chuckled "We'll see about that".

With that Atsumu left, luckily.

Rintarou knew that they'd have to get up anyway, before the blond could come back whining for breakfast.

Removing the pillow from his face, he turned around to gaze at his boyfriend.  
"'Samu". All he got in response was a lump of gray, disheveled hair nuzzling against his neck. "We have to get up, c'mon". No answer. Suna snickered, amused. The shorter boy acted like the biggest baby in the morning.

"I'm going down Sleeping Beauty, join us when you come back to the world of the living". He planted a kiss to Osamu's head and slipped out of bed. He didn't feel the need to cover up for three different reasons: it was July 5, the Miya's parents weren't home and, last but not least, he wanted to annoy Atsumu.

He went down to the kitchen, where he found the blond twin typing on his phone. "Want coffee, nuisance?".  
"Yep" Atsumu made sure to unnecessarily pop the p. "Two spoonfuls of sugar".  
Suna grimaced as he put the mocha on the stove. "First of all, that's a crime. And second, I'm not your barista, you add your nasty sugar yourself".

"Didn't know ya were a coffe elitist".  
"I'm not, I just happen to have been endowed with functioning taste buds". The cup of fuming coffee and the sugar jar were handed to Atsumu nonetheless. "Thanks"  
"No problem".

Suna enjoyed the silence, peacefully sipping his own sour drink. "What was it that you wanted to ask before?".

"Ah!". Atsumu lit up, remembering his request. "Kiyoomi comes back from Tokyo this afternoon and he said he'll come to Kita-san's party. Can he come with us?". Suna looked at him, arching an eyebrow. "Us?".  
"Yeah, 'Samu, ya and I"  
"Oh so you were included too?". Atsumu pouted and Suna smiled cheekily.  
"You know I'm just picking on you, but yeah, sure, Kiyoomi can come with us. Tell him we'll be under his apartment at 9 pm".

"You're the best SunaRin, even if you're naked in my kitchen"  
"Not your kitchen, not naked. Sorry, try again next time".

"What is this fuckin' attitude, 'Samu is rubbing off on ya". Suna arched that damn eyebrow again. "You bet he is".  
Atsumu spat some coffe back in the cup and started coughing, all while whining: "That's digustiiing".

Just as he kept on choking, Osamu descended the stairs, shirtless and in all his sleepy glory. "Mornin'". He quickly kissed Suna's lips before opening the fridge. Atsumu was too busy trying not to die to comment something snarky; plus he knew that if he wanted breakfast he shouldn't piss off his drowsy brother.

They ate cheerfully, chatting and joking around with each other. It was familiar, warm and Atsumu loved it, although he'd never admit it.

Suna and Osamu minded their business then (leaving Atsumu to do the dishes), lazying around until lunchtime, which they had decided to set at around 2 pm, as they had all woken up pretty late.

Aran came over in the afternoon and chilled with them, eventually dragging everyone outside for a "quick set, just a fast game" that ended up lasting two hours.

The eldest also revealed them his plan to confess to Kita during the party, to which everyone responded with words of encouragement. When Aran left, the others started getting ready for the night. Much to Atsumu's disappointment, SunaRin and Osamu reached the bathroom faster than him, which meant they would shower first, together. The blond just sighed and accepted his cruel fate.

They were all dressed and pretty by 8:30, and at exactly 9 pm Rintarou parked in front of Sakusa's apartment. Atsumu texted Kiyoomi to let them know they had arrived.

You  
> we're here bby 9:01 pm

Omi🥰  
> coming down now. 9:01 pm

* * *

It took them a bit longer than an hour to reach the parking lot that had been picked as the rendezvous point, and there they met up with the rest of the group to walk together to the restaurant Kita had chosen. The place wasn't easily accessible by car as it was situated in Ponto-cho, an old red light district lying between the Kamogawa River and Kiyamachi Street in the center of Kyoto.

On both sides of the street there were traditional restaurants as well as drinking establishments. Kita explained that it was a popular location, not only among tourists but also among locals, who often dined and held parties there. Sometimes lucky passersby could even spot Geishas walking around.

Their former captain hadn't wanted to go club-hopping for various reasons: first of all, it wasn't really his thing and everyone was well aware. He'd much rather have a good meal with all his friends and maybe get some drinks afterwards. Second, even if it was rarely mentioned anymore, Osamu's issue hadn't been forgotten, hence the unspoken agreement not to drag the boy to a disco, especially not to one so close to the crime scene.

The police hadn't gotten far with the investigation, as the clues they had been given were just too vague to be able for them to identify the culprit, but they were still working hard to get to the bottom of the predicament.

Dinner went by smoothly, even if the other guests had probably wanted to shoot themselves in the head at some point, given how loud the group of young boys was being. Kita made sure to leave an extra tip for all the ruckus they had caused, though.

They stopped for drinks at one of the bars that faced the street and then proceeded towards the city centre. The streets were packed, full of tourists and locals who wanted to enjoy that beautiful July night, and the atmosphere was light and joyous. Osamu felt tense nonetheless. He hadn't been able to calm his nerves since they had got to the restaurant and he was struggling to keep up with his friends' cheerful mood. He couldn't even pinpoint what was bothering him, but whatever it was made his stomach churn.

Head in the clouds, he didn't even notice he was walking too close to Ginjima, and he ended up tripping on his own steps and pushing the boy against someone in the crowd. Osamu snapped out of his thoughts and immediately went to check on Hitoshi, to make sure he hadn't fallen or hurt himself in any way.

The words died in his mouth though, as he glanced at the person his 6 ft tall friend had knocked over.

 **He** was sitting on the ground, looking definitely surprised by the unexpected impact. All it took **him** were some seconds of confusion before promptly getting up. Hitoshi was hurriedly apologizing and even bowed twice, while Osamu was dead silent next to him, petrified in place. He really hoped his expression wouldn't give too much away.

 **He** didn't speak one word, but instead bowed back and smiled warmly at them before disappearing again into the crowd.

Ginjima started walking again before noticing that the silver haired male wasn't following. He turned around and arched an eyebrow at Osamu.

"'Samu, ya comin'?". No answer.  
"'Samu?". He got closer to his former teammate and put a hand on his shoulder to try and shake him out of his thoughts, but as soon as he touched him Osamu flinched so hard he almost tripped again.

Hitoshi wasn't the brightest, but even he managed to immediately understand the source of the problem, or at least comprehend what the whole scene was about. "Come closer, hey, did'ya perhaps see someone..familiar?". Osamu nodded, gaze still fixated on the ground where the **stranger** had been laying just mere seconds ago. The white-haired wing spiker widened his eyes and muttered: "It was him?? That guy? What way did he go?! Wait here 'Samu". But a hand stopped him.  
He met Osamu's scared, serious eyes. "Don't. Stay, please".

Ginjima put an arm around the taller boy's waist and brought him impossibly closer to himself. "We're finding Atsumu, okay? He must be just ahead of us. I'll keep ya next to me alright?".

Atsumu was, in fact, just a dozen of meters ahead, walking next to Sakusa and SunaRin.

Kiyoomi had had a weird gut feeling, like something ugly was about to go down, but he had shrugged it off, blaming it on his germaphobic tendencies that didn't really make him feel at ease in the middle of large crowds. He knew he had been right though, as soon as he saw Ginjima rushing to approach them. He frowned.

"'Tsumu, where are Kita and the others?".

Atsumu looked taken by surprise. "Uhm, up ahead?". Hitoshi detached himself from the silver haired twin and started jogging forward, but Osamu grabbed his wrist once again. "Don't tell Kita-san".

Kiyoomi was now sure he had totally been right. Suna and Atsumu's confused expressions mirrored each other, while Ginjima responded: "Whaddaya mean don't tell Kita-san, he'll skin us alive if I don't".

Osamu shook his head no. "It's his birthday".

"Excuse me gentlemen" Atsumu interrupted. "Would ya mind filling me in? Because I have absolutely no idea what the fuck ye'r talkin' about".

Osamu slurred "It's nothing" at the same time as Hitoshi declared: "We saw the rapist".

"YOU SAW WHO?", Atsumu and Suna echoed together, immediately looking at Osamu for further explanation. Kiyoomi took control of the situation. He nodded at Ginjima and said: "Go tell the others, don't spread panic. Just tell them what you saw and that we're dealing with it. We'll catch up with you later. Go".   
  


* * *

Atsumu was livid. He kicked the bathroom door shut and slid down to the floor, back pressed against the white wall.

They got so close, so fucking close. If he had been next to Osamu he would've noticed instantly, he would've slammed that **bastard** into the cemented ground and made sure the cops dragged him to prison, where he would rot away until the end of his days.

He would've finally been able to avange his brother.

But he hadn't. Because he, once again, hadn't been there.

_It's all your fault, you failed him again_

He turned on the shower to the maximum, so that the sound of running water could muffle his cries of rage.

By the time he got to bed he felt spent, but still couldn't manage to fall asleep.

But he did figure out one thing: the saying was true, his dreamless night brought him good counsel and by the time Atsumu was up the next morning, he had a plan ready to be put into action.  
  
  
  



	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Osamu's POV.
> 
> WARNING: Graphic description of rape (not exactly explicit but it's still there, read at your own discretion) and panic attacks.

"We're going back to Kyoto, tonight".

Atsumu stormed in the gym basically fuming, looking like he had slept one hour at best and on a bed made of stones. 

"The hell are you saying? It's Monday, we have classes tomorrow. Also why would you want to go to Kyoto, we went there yesterday and-".

"We're going to Kyoto. We're going clubbing. We'll go to every single fuckin' club and search them all until I finally find that piece of shit and rearrange his face".

Silence. Someone coughed awkwardly. That someone being Aran. Kita eventually took the floor. 

"Atsumu. That doesn't sound like a good idea to me".

"I am going to _kill_ him".

"No, no you're not. You won't kill anybody. We can't risk you getting 50 years or more".

"He's out there! He's roaming around freely, living his best life like nothing happened. Like he isn't a monster, a scumbag, like he didn't RAPE MY TWIN".

"Atsumu". Kita got up and placed his gentle hands on the boy's heaving shoulders. "I know you're mad. I am too. Trust me, I'm not a violent person and you know it, but right now I would very much enjoy pushing that bastard to die in a ditch. Lamentably enough, that's illegal".

Surprise outweighed rage, and the blond's frantic breathing slowed down significantly. Aran looked just as stupefied (and maybe a bit turned on) at seeing the ever so stoic, calm Shinsuke openly express his murderous intentions.

"Also, I believe that the Gods will punish those at fault. We can't stain our hands with a crime when we're trying to solve one, don't you agree?". Now that was more in character. 

Atsumu nodded, albeit still skeptical.

"Okay, fine. We won't kill him. But I was serious when I said we're going to go to Kyoto. If we saw him yesterday in the city centre, wandering around at that hour or the night, it definitely means he still hangs out at clubs and bars in that zone, possibly preying on helpless boys and girls. We have to stop him".

"And we will, just not tonight. This is way too sudden. Do you even have a plan? Or did you come up with the whole killing thing on spot?". 

"I do have a plan". Both boys nodded as if to say 'enlighten us', but Atsumu shook his head no.

"Not now, Aran-san is right. I just got a bit carried away back then, but I really did think of something. It came to my mind yesterday night. 'Samu needs to be present though, and everyone else too, so I need to get his approval first, and everybody's collaboration. I'll talk to him and then we'll fill ya'll in".

Aran nodded and supportively patted his shoulder. "We're proud of ya, and yanno we got'yer back", to which Atsumu grimaced showing his true gremlin side. "Ew, ya sound like my dad".

"Why do I even try anymore".  
  


* * *

Osamu couldn't sleep. Atsumu had come back home at around 6 pm after hanging out with their senpais and they had had dinner together. Then mom and dad had joined them for a movie. None of the twins had told them about the encounter with the rapist yet.

Both were glad they could finally trust and rely on their parents, but getting accustomed to it was going to take a while, and it didn't seem fair to drop that kind of bomb on a Sunday evening.

So they had all sat huddled on the living room's sofa and "enjoyed" a low budget romcom.

But now Osamu was in his room, alone, and he couldn't sleep.

01:27 am.

He sighed and forcibly shut his eyes, desperately trying to fall asleep. He knew that not managing to do so could only mean one thing: he'd start thinking, and thinking never brought to any good.

He tossed and turned but nothing seemed to soothe his nerves or his running mind; dreamland still felt unreachable.

Giving up on the impossible task, he started staring at the ceiling. Running from his thoughts would have been a great tactic, if only they hadn't been so fast to catch up..  
  


_"This is yer place?"_

_"Yeah, you like it?"_

_"It's cool, looks nice. Ya live here alone?"_

_"I do. Please, make yourself at home, I'll grab us a few beers"._

_Beer didn't exactly sound like the best option at that moment after all he'd drunk at the club, but then again, it was Saturday night. He had the right to get shitfaced and forget everything, even if only for a while._

_And oh, forgetting everything sounded so nice: forgetting volleyball and how much he ached to play again but couldn't bring himself to, because he just wasn't good enough._

_Forgetting his mediocre grades and the consequent crippling fear of disappointment that was constantly eating him alive._

_Forgetting Rintarou and his beautiful eyes and his sharp tongue and the fact that, no matter how hard Osamu tried, he would never love him back._

_And forgetting Atsumu, and how stupid, idiotic and just so much better at everything he was._

_Unfair, life was unfair._

_Identical twins were supposed to be identical, but if that was the case, how come the blond was the best in any field, at anything, every single time, always?_

_Osamu had thought that at least dropping volleyball would drag him out of his brother's suffocating shadow, that it would put some space between the two of them, but it seemed to have had quite the opposite effect. Everywhere he went it was all about his twin._

_("Miya? Like the guy in the university's team?"_

_"You really do look the same!"_

_"How can they even tell you apart? Did your mother use to confuse you two when you had the same hair?"_

_"Why did you go for silver? Blond looks super good on him"_

_"Can you give this to your brother?"_

_"Can I have his number?"_

_"Is he single?"_

_"Man, he's going pro right? Why aren't you? You used to play too, right?")_

_It was a miracle he still hadn't snapped at someone._   
_And to top if all off, living up to the unrealistic expectations Atsumu always managed to set was fucking exhausting._

_So when the stranger came back with a cheap can of beer and an ashtray, Osamu downed the alcohol in three sips and even lit up another cigarette._

'that's the second one today'

_It was just him in that room. Him, a stranger, and no trace of his brother whatsoever._

_The air seemed to have gotten way lighter all of a sudden._

_"So what do you do?"_

_"I'm in uni"_

_"What are you studying?". Osamu hesitated before taking a long drag and puffing out a dark cloud of smoke._

'There is no Atsumu here, no one to be compared to. No better version of yourself'

'You don't have to be ashamed' 

_"Hospitality management. I'd like t' open a restaurant one day"._

_"That's pretty fucking cool. You cook?"_

_"Yeah". Breathe in the smoke, feel it tingle your throat._

_"Like traditional cousine or foreign dishes? A bit of both?"_

_"I'm more on the traditional side, but I like exploring and experimenting with food combinations and stuff like that"._

_"Now I'm really curious. You got the looks AND you're basically a chef, I got lucky tonight didn't I?"._

_Osamu couldn't help but smile._

_Was this guy actually, genuinely interested in what he had to say? Was he spontaneously engaging in conversation? Even if he may have had ulterior motives, he was still listening and responding attentively. And he was looking._   
_Not at Atsumu, not at anybody else, but at him._

_Being finally seen felt way too good._

_The silver haired boy remembered leaning in first, to place an all too chaste kiss on the other's lips, that quickly became heated and messy._

_He didn't say anything as a hot hand gripped his thigh._

_He also remembered not refusing another glass of liquid fire, and other three after that, while angry red hickeys started to appear on his neck._

_And he most definitely remembered feeling like his head was about to burst and his heart was pounding so fast it was ready to break out of his chest. He had stopped liking the other man's attention by that point, with all the touching it led to, and the innocent need to be listened had disappeared, leaving space to an uncomfortable uneasiness that was screaming at him to get out of that house._

_The room had started to spin, the voices had multiplied. Osamu had realized he could never just walk out on his own._

_'_ Where is Atsumu' 

_He could clearly recall surreptitious hands, sneaky touches that only became more and more insistent, and rough, open mouthed, one sided kisses._

_'_ Where is my brother' 

_He had memories of taking out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans after being told to, but none of who he meant to call. He just knew that hot whispers on his neck made him end up texting Aran._

_You_

_ > u can go bck home with the others, I'm stying at old friends place. 12:36 am_

_'_ no please, take me home'

_Aran-senpai_

_ > r you sure Osamu? 12:38 am_

_'_ don't leave me here'

_You_

_ > yeah 12:39 am_

_'_ I don't like this guy anymore. I'd choose being Atsumu's ghost over this any day'

_But the phone had been snatched out of his hands by then._

_Osamu was touch starved, he had probably always been, but these types of touches...these he had never craved for._   
_Because what was meant to be gentle only bruised, because what was meant to be loving only hurt._   
_These weren't touches anyone was ever supposed to receive._

_Hands were everywhere, removing clothes and pieces of his soul._   
_Fingers were too: in his hair, pulling without mercy, on his hips, tainting milky skin, on his face and on his throat and everywhere else._

_Osamu rarely cried, showing emotions was Atsumu's thing. That idiot was always genuine, always reflecting his feelings in his actions, whether they be rage, hatred or the sheer need to be a pain in the ass._

_But it just wasn't for the silver haired boy._

_He had a role that he had managed come to terms with: he'd be the quiet one. He'd let his twin make choices first, let him test the waters. He'd always be behind Atsumu, watching his back and laughing at the boy's dumb mistakes._

_He would have liked to be his own person, but being twins had always been like an unspoken war for them. One just had to prevail._

_Atsumu was better, there was no need to try and deny that, but he was also hated by plenty of people for his excessively complex personality. And Osamu, after years of trying to get on his level, simply chose to let him win their war, as living peacefully had started to matter more than notoriety, more than glory, more than pride; even if, deep down, it still stung._

_But not being able to catch up (or choosing not to) to the blond had resulted in him being seen as the inferior brother. The silent, altogether lesser version of Atsumu. Which was fine, really._   
_He decided to accept it and had built his whole personality on that decision with such care, that he couldn't even tell the facade apart from his real self anymore._

_In order not to become like the person he loved and spited the most in the world, he became no one._

_The gray hair served as a remainder of who he was: the colourless one._

_Where Atsumu was vibrant, eye-catching and bright, Osamu was flat, quiet and dull._   
_Dying his hair any other shade would have felt like a lie, as none would have expressed the gaping hollowness of his being like gray did. It was perfectly empty, not quite black and not quite white._

_For years he had thought himself to be a shadow:_

_Shadows didn't express feelings._

_Shadows didn't cry._

_It was fitting._

_But that night brought a newfound knowledge to the light: Osamu noticed that he was and had always been wrong._

_Because shadows did not cry, but he did. He sobbed and weeped for hours on end, until his voice was gone and every last, struggling, ragged breath had left his lungs, as the lulling dark finally welcomed him in its stillness._

_He awoke to pain. Throbbing pain in every part of his body._

_His head felt heavier than it ever had and opening his eyes had been a struggle. When he finally managed to do so, he had to get accustomed to the dim light that entered the room from the one huge window situated in front of him. It shined on the silent house, helping Osamu identify shapes and objects._

_He didn't recognize anything but his clothes that lay scattered on the floor. Another equally naked body was sound asleep next to him, chest rising and falling to the slow rhythm of his breaths. Numerous glasses were spread out on the glass table in front of the couch and one had toppled over, its contents now dripping down slowly, hitting the floor with relentless obstinacy._

_Realization dawned on him like one of those buckets of cold water Atsumu used to throw at him in the summertime, back when they were children._

_It left him breathless, stunned into silence for an indefinite amount of time._   
_(The worst was understanding that he had no more tears to spill)._

_Osamu got dressed, picked up his phone, checked to see if he still had his keys and left that apartment without looking back._   
  


_On the train everyone knew._   
_At least, it looked like they knew._

_The very few people that were sharing the reduced space of the metallic carriage in the dead of night, were all collectively staring at the silver haired boy and Osamu felt the irresistible urge to puke his soul out of his body._

_He couldn't exactly pinpoint the feeling that wrenched his guts every time the old lady in the seat in front of him glanced at him with a small, encouraging smile and eyes full of pity._

_Or when some bearded man asked him if he was okay as they descended the train._

_Or when the conductor, who had just finished working for the night, offered to walk him home._

_Or when, after drying his lips on the back of his hand, he saw blood, that had now began to stain his fingers._

_But that mysterious emotion became crystal clear as soon as he heard Atsumu's loud voice coming from his room, where the blond was probably on the phone with Kiyoomi, complaining about his unfinished essay._

_**Shame**._

_That's what it was: unsullied, stinging shame._

_Osamu turned his eyes away from the door of his brother's room and went to hide in his own, immediately collapsing on his bed, trying to repress the wave of panic that was rising in his chest._

_'_ you fucked up so bad'   
  


_Sleep never came that night, but the tears he thought he had lost surprisingly did._

"Fuck, not again". Remembering felt like slicing an old, phantom wound open with a knife. Osamu sat up on the bed and glanced at his phone to check the time.

1:46 am.

Screw it.

He got up, trying his best to not make any noise, and sneaked into the room adjacent to his.

Atsumu was sleeping so soundly that the boy almost felt bad for wanting to bother him, but the fear was eating him alive, starting from deep inside his bones, and waking up his brother was the only smart solution he could come up with.

"Tsumu..". Breathe in, breathe out.

"Tsumu". Fuck, his heart was begging to be let out of the ribcage.  
He could almost hear the blood thundering in his ears.

"Please, Atsumu". Breathe in, breathe out... But breathing was too hard.  
It hurt. Everything hurt.

The blond slowly opened one eye, groaning sluggishly, but immediately sprang up as he registered the sight in front of him.

"'Samu, what the hell, what happened?!"

Osamu looked like a kicked puppy: big eyes wide with terror and chest heaving irregularly, almost spasmodically.

"Okay alright, calm down, breathe with me. 'Samu breathe with me, slowly okay? Just like that... Good.  
Here, sit on the bed".

Atsumu waited until the erratic breaths had quieted down to ask: "Had a bad dream?".

"Yeah"

"Is it better now?"

"Mmh hm"

"Wanna sleep here?". Osamu blinked twice, mentally weighing the pros and cons of the proposal.

**Shame, shame, shame**

"Yes"

Atsumu smirked and scooted over, leaving him enough space to lie down.  
The silence didn't last for too long, of course.

"I promise ya I'll kill him".

"No, ya won't, we don't have the money to bail yer ass out".

"Of course I won't! It was metaphorical, but I'll sure as hell get him behind bars. Just ya watch me"

"Sure".

"I actually have a plan 'Samu, but I don't think ya will like it very much".

Osamu hummed lowly but nodded anyway. "Ya might as well spit it out, if I don't wanna do it, I'll just tell ya".

Atsumu sighed and turned his blond head towards his brother.

"We have to go to Kyoto, go to that club and other clubs in the area. We're the only ones that can recognize him, the police can try but they'll never be able to catch him and ya know it too. All together, we'll go and find the asshole and we'll call the cops on him, they'll take care of the rest from then".

The silver haired boy kept silent for a while, then answered with evident strain in his voice. "I can't face him. Ye'r right, it's the only way to find him, but I can't".

"Osamu"

"I told'ya I can't". _Fear and shame, shame, shame._

_Hands on thighs and raw kisses on the neck, and pain and blood on that new pair of blue jeans. _

"No listen, 'Samu, I only need ya to come with us because ye'r the only one who can identify him, but I won't let him see ya".

"How. Even ya can't do something like that. Ya said it yerself, I have to identify him, no one else can do it for me. And after I find him, what's next, I'm guessing I'll have to go talk to him or something. Atsumu no".

"'Samu, Jesus Christ. Shut yer trap for a second will ya. Do ya really think I'll get ya in a situation like that? What kind of monster would I be to do such a thing? Think, brother. Ye'r lucky enough to have one person in the world that is identical to ya in every single way, and that person happens to be willing to go to war for ya, idiot".

Osamu was stunned. He stumbled on his own words trying to stutter: "Ye'r absolutely crazy".

Atsumu smirked and succumbed to the weight of the other, as his twin launched himself on top of him and hugged him tight, in a spurt of unexpected affection.

Atsumu held on tighter.

"Ye'r an asshole, crazy motherfucker i love ya so much". Silver hair was tickling the other boy's neck.

"Oh I know ya do. Don't worry, I'll be the best stand-in ever. Oh and 'Samu, hey, look at me".

Mirrored brown eyes met each other and, for the first time, Osamu didn't hate his own for not being unique. Instead, he found reassurance in knowing that wherever he'd go, everywhere he'd be in his life, he'd always have his brother's to gaze into.

_Maybe it doesn't have to be a fight, it may have never been. Maybe I've just been fighting with myself all along._

Warm, sparkling, of the colour of freshly brewed coffee.

If anything had ever felt like home, it was those eyes.

"I would rip the world apart for ya".

"I know. I would too".  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wanted this to be the last chapter but squeezing everything in this one just didn't seem right, I also really wanted to present Osamu's point of view. There's not a lot of plot progress here, but I thought writing this would be important to understand the other side of the story, as told by the main protagonist. This chapter in particular could be very triggering so please, avoid reading it if you know it can bother or upset you in any way.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, we're almost at the end.


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains senstive material, such as discussions of rape, descriptions of violence, OCD and mental issues. Read at your own discretion.

  
6 hours before midnight  
  


"How does it look?"

"Fuckin' terrifying, ya look jus' like me."

"No shit Sherlock, I'm yer twin brother."

"I'm starting to reevaluate yer piss-yellow hair, gray doesn't suit ya at all Tsumu."

"Lies, ye'r just jealous I can pull this off too."

"Whatever helps ya sleep at night brother."

Atsumu checked himself out in the mirror and was quite pleased with the result he saw. The silver shade was slightly different from Osamu's, but it was probably barely noticeable for an untrained eye that hadn't had to stare at his twin (and his receding hairline) every single day since birth. He tried some silly faces, mostly typical expressions of his, to experiment them on his 'brother's face'.

And it was damn creepy, 'Samu was right.

He was immediately reprimanded by an amused: "Stop fooling around, asshole."

"Sir yes sir."

Osamu was distractingly cleaning the sink from the numerous stains of hair dye that tattered it, but it was evident that his mind was elsewhere.

Atsumu decided to break the ice. "So tonight's the night."

A wavering hum was all he got in response.

"I reviewed the plan with the others yesterday at dinner, everything's perfect 'Samu."

"Yeah."

Atsumu sighed. "Hey, you, look at me. It will be alright, it will be fine. We'll make it."

"I hope so."  
  


5 hours before midnight  
  


"I'm gonna take a shower first, remember we have to meet up with everyone else in three hours. Okay?"

Osamu took a deep breath before nodding in agreement. Anxiety was eating him from the inside and, in a way, he couldn't wait to get the night done with.  
Maybe Atsumu was right, maybe everything would turn out to be alright.

He decided to busy himself with some homework he still had to finish while waiting for his turn to head to the bathroom.  
  


4 hours before midnight  
  


"Ya don't have to wear things ye'r uncomfortable in, ya'nno. Remember ya just have to get in the club for like, five to ten minutes tops. We'll deal with the rest."

"I can't exactly go there in sweatpants though, can I? And it would also be better if we were wearing the same thing; not that I think anyone would notice if we weren't but, I feel like it'd be the wiser choice."

Atsumu rolled his eyes and sighed. "Ye'r right, for once. Still, we can wear jeans or something. And a black t-shirt, 'that sound okay?"

"Yes, I could go with that."

"Great."  
  


3 hours before midnight  
  


Trying to have dinner had proved itself to be futile, as both boys were way too nervous for what was coming to be able to digest anything. They had basically had to beg their parents to go visit the rest of the family in Osaka for the weekend in order to be alone, with the excuse of needing the house to throw a birthday party for a friend of theirs. They wouldn't have been able to hide anything from them otherwise.

Both of them had felt extremely bad about it, but they had secretly hoped that everything would have been resolved that night, and had swore not to lie to mum and dad ever again.

The kitchen's wall clock signaled that it was almost time, so they decided to go over their plan for the nth time that day.

"Alright. So what's the first thing we do when we get there?" Asked Atsumu.

Osamu sighed and repeated what he had learnt by heart: "I get in the club with the boys, look around and try to spot _him."_

"And if ya do?"

"And if I do we call ya, and ya and I switch places."

"Exactly, how?"

"I head out and get back in the car where ya and Kiyoomi are waiting. I'll give ya my ID and ya get back in in my place. I'll hang out with Sakusa until you guys are done."

"Good. And what if ya can't find him in the first fifteen minutes inside the club?"

"We all get out of there and we regroup. We'll decide what to do later."

"Good."

"Good."

Atsumu was biting his nails, which was something he only ever did if he was scared shitless. Osamu could definitely sympathize.

"'Samu."

"What?"

"Are you prepared for the possibility of actually not finding him?"

The boy took a few minutes to think about it, then weakly nodded. "I am. Deep down I'm praying that we don't, but I know it's just the fear talking. Honestly I think I'm gonna be pretty damn frustrated if we go through all of this for nothing."

"Yeah, same here."  
  


2 hours before midnight  
  


"Okay, everything's ready. We're all here."

Kita Shinsuke looked around the room and mentally counted those present.

Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu, Suna Rintarou, Ojiro Aran, Ginjima Hitoshi, Ōmimi Ren, Akagi Michinari, Sakusa Kiyoomi and himself. Nine boys who were like family (even if Sakusa would probably beg to differ), and would go through hell and back for each other.

He then proceeded: "We'll obviously have to take two cars. I'll drive one and Aran will take the other. There's a high chance we won't be able to both find a parking spot that's close to the club, so I'll try to do that while the others will park a little further.  
Sakusa-san, Atsumu, Osamu and Rintarou will be with me. We'll wait for you boys to reach the entrance and we'll meet up there. Atsumu and Sakusa-san will wait in the car as we'd previously established. Is everything clear?"  
  


1 hour before midnight  
  


The streets were jammed, as expected, but Kita was calm. Or trying to be calm.

They still had a good 30 minutes to get to Kyoto, which was fine because it was _planned_ , he repeated to himself, they were on schedule. But the 'what if's were clouding his mind and he had to forcefully snap out of his thoughts.

_Eyes on the road._   
  


24 minutes before midnight  
  


Finding a parking spot was proving itself to be quite the task and it was definitely not helping anyone's nerves.

The car had been silent since the beginning of the trip, but it wasn't like the boys were expecting to have that many conversations. Even Sakusa looked tense, and seeing him periodically clenching his jaw or playing with his hair only enhanced everyone's dangerously rising level of stress.

Atsumu was the one who broke the silence. "Remember the _rule_ , 'Samu?"

"Yeah." The twins looked at each other, brown eyes met their exact replicas. "Always stick close to the others."  
  


19 minutes before midnight  
  


Kita put his phone on speaker as he answered Aran's call. He had just managed to park the car and he had been lucky enough to find a spot right where he wanted to.

His boyfriend's voice sounded loud and clear as he announced: "We're heading there, are you guys ready?"

And there was no hesitation whatsoever as they all answered "Yes", but only determination and the raging desire to get that horrible night done with.  
  


2 minutes before midnight  
  


Osamu was growing nervous, the fifteen minute soil had been exceeded already, but no one looked ready to leave just yet. He himself being the first.

_"Honestly I think I'm gonna be pretty damn frustrated if we go through all of this for nothing."_

He gritted his teeth and looked around again, like he had been doing for what felt like an eternity.

And then he did the only thing he wasn't supposed to do.

_"Always stick close to the others."_

_Sorry, Tsumu. It's just not gonna work this way._

He made his voice slightly more high-pitched for credibility and turned to his friends and boyfriend. "I saw him. Over there." He pointed at a random direction. "I'm not sure though, we have to go check up close."

Aran nodded. "Okay, let's go. You follow behind us, alright?"

Osamu nodded, only he didn't obey. He took the chance to sneak away and blend in the swaying crowd on the dance floor.

_I don't have much time_

He made his way to a lesser packed area and took a deep breath.

_Calm down, focus._

His eyes scanned the room, searching for black hair, a tall build, white perfect teeth...  
And suddenly, as the music got louder and the room started to spin, Osamu had to hold back from laughing - because there he was.

Sitting on one of the barstools, happily chatting with a girl in a black dress.

How ironic it was, that finding him had been so easy. After so much time. After so many sleepless nights.

Anger, fear and even joy were all fighting for dominance in his mind, but the only real thought that took shape in his brain was: not her too.

Thankfully, his fingers rushed to his back pocket, retrieving his phone and dialing Atsumu's number before he could do something he'd later regret.

His twin picked up immediately, almost like ha had been staring at the screen of his own device for the whole time. Which he had.

"I saw him, he's here in front of me."

"Fuck, okay, fuck. Come outside, now!"

Osamu turned around and crashed against someone. Panic seemed to spike in his chest with the speed of a race car.

"'Samu, what the hell. Why didn't you follow?!" Oh, it was just them.

The familiar faces of Aran, Kita-san, Gin, Ren-san, Akagi-san and Rin were all focused on him. Their expressions varying from fucking pissed to extremely worried.

_I'm sorry, I had to_

Osamu took the floor before they could question him any further. "He's there, ya see that guy at the bar. Second stool from the left. Next to the girl in the black dress."

Silence.

Five pair of eyes lit up like bushes caught in the flames as they sized up the man.

White unbuttoned shirt, black slacks, black shoes. Just like any other dude around him.

Osamu wasn't sure he had ever thought that Kita-san could kill a man until he saw him then and there. And he had to actually grab Suna's wrists to stop him from doing whatever it was that he wanted to do. Smash the guy's head on the counter, possibly.

"Guys, the plan. Let's go."

The first that seemed to come to was that beautiful Saint they called Ojiro Aran, who nodded at him and said: "Suna, Kita-san, walk out with Osamu and lead Atsumu back here. We'll make sure he doesn't leave, or track his movements if he eventually does."

Walking to the car felt surreal. The music echoed in his eardrums but Osamu was completely deaf to it, the only sound that rang in there were _his_ voice,

_"I'd love to spend the night with you"_

_"Stay, why don't we drink some more?"_

_"You should just shut up and take it"_

and the train conductor's. " _I'll walk you home, boy. You look like you shouldn't be left alone right now."_  
  


Midnight  
  


Atsumu stormed into the club, trailing after SunaRin. As soon as they joined Aran's small group he asked: "Which one is he?"

Ginjima, whose back was facing the bar counter, leaned his head in the man's direction while Akagi whispered: "Second barstool from the left, next to that girl with the long hair."

Atsumu scowled as he identified his target, but still decided to make sure by asking: "Asshole with the white shirt?"

"That's right."

He was about to head over to the bar when SunaRin placed a hand on his shoulder. Those fox eyes had never looked sharper.

"Atsumu."

The now silver-haired boy's throat felt dry. "Yeah?"

"Give him hell."

"Will do."  
  
  


Atsumu slipped on the barstool with ease and started a friendly chat with the barman. Meanwhile, Kita-san did his part and walked over to the girl in the black dress, informing her that someone was looking for her on the dance floor. She looked surprised but gently thanked him and headed over to the spot she had been directed to.

The man she was talking to looked surprised, and totally unamused, at her sudden departure. But then he turned around and, oh.

"Hey."

Atsumu took a sip of the glass of water he had just ordered and focused his attention on _him_. His first instinct was to throw up all the contents of his stomach all over the floor. The second was to punch the guy into the next century.

However, he gave in to none of them and instead smiled sweetly. "Hi. It's nice to see ya again."

Surprise made its way to the man's face yet again, but this time he looked wary.  
Fuck.

Atsumu immediately added: "At least I think it was ya, maybe I'm just mistaking ya for someone else."

He was doing his goddamn best not to let his real emotions seep through the facade, but he seemed to be doing a good job, as the man had already visibly relaxed.

_Let him think you're not mad_

_Let him think you don't regret it_

_This is your only chance_

As a matter of fact, _he_ smirked and responded: "Oh no, you're right, I think. I remember your face."

"Oh ya do? I'm flattered."

"How could I not? You're so handsome. Say, do you think I could buy you a drink?"

 _No, no, no._ "Yes, I'd love that."

As they kept on conversing Atsumu was forced to admit, albeit unwillingly, that he could see why Osamu had been attracted to the guy. He looked objectively good and was a charming talker. Which only made the younger angrier.

_He doesn't get to behave like this, like a normal person after what he's done_

But after a few minutes of peaceful talking, Atsumu knew it was time to proceed with the plan. He had to get the other to admit his crime while also not making it look like he was trying to incriminate him.

"I wouldn't mind us repeating our previous experience by the end of tonight, ya'nno." Atsumu felt bile rise up in his throat as he smiled as sincerely as he could.

The man looked surprised for the third time that night, but this was a happy kind of surprised. His eyes shone with something dark.

"And what kind of man would I be if I denied such a request?"

_A decent one, that's what you'd be_

"A terrible one really. But I don't really remember... how far is your house from here? Can we get there on foot?"

"Oh yeah it's pretty close by." _He_ answered nonchalantly as he took a sip of his drink.

"Perfect!" Atsumu was starting to loathe the fake persona he was creating. It would probably come hunt him in his dreams in the future. "I was drunk out of my mind last time, so I didn't even know if you lived in the outskirts or in the city center."

_Please take the bait_

The man laughed and shrugged, then added: "I guess you were. But don't worry, it's pretty central."

_Checkmate_

Atsumu asked him something about his job and took his phone out of his pocket while the guy threw himself in a monologue about secretaries and 3D printers. He opened his messaging app and texted a single word.

You  
> Call. 00:28

Atsumu could only watch and smile victoriously as Aran stepped out of the club to call the police.

_And now we wait_   
  
  
  


"So, uhm" The silence in the car was defeaning, but still better than whatever it was that Sakusa was trying to say.

"So how... - how do you. How are you feeling?"

Osamu quirked his eyebrows and looked at the curly haired boy. "Ya mean after seeing the guy who raped me calmly chat with someone in the very same club we met at? Exhilarated."

_Ouch, too harsh_

Still, Sakusa didn't seem to be bothered by his rudeness. On the contrary, he looked quite relieved, for some unintelligible reason.

"Yeah."

Osamu sighed and leaned his head against the car window. "Ya really suck at this emotional support thing."

"I'm well aware."

A low hum.

Kiyoomi opened his mouth again, and that was probably the most Osamu had ever heard him talk in his whole life. "But you know, I don't think you're the type that generally likes empathy or heart-to-heart's."

"Ye'r right."

"Then you don't have to worry about it, because I'd never do something like that."

And his brain's synapses must have gotten damaged sometime during that night, because Osamu laughed. Really, really hard. His chest shook with real, genuine giggles and Sakusa himself looked appalled.

"It wasn't even... Why are you laughing, it wasn't even funny."

"I'm sorry but it sounded hilarious to me."

Black eyebrows furrowed. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course I'm not." Osamu answered between the laughs. "Christ, of course I'm not. But think about this whole thing for a second: my _twin brother_ is pretending to be me and trying to trick my _assaulter_ in order to get him arrested. I haven't had a proper talk with my boyfriend in like weeks, my teammates are _this close_ to committing murder and I'm sitting in a car with my brother's boyfriend who's, no offense - "

"None taken"

"The most apathic person I've ever met. Tonight just couldn't be going better."

Sakusa sighed and adjusted his sitting position, now standing with his back straight and head held up high.

He went quiet for a while before whispering: "Osamu."

"What" The laughing fit had long died down now, swallowed wholly by the tense atmosphere in the car.

"I know you're scared. And, mind you, I'm not being empathic, I'm just stating the obvious."

The gray haired boy frowned.

"You're scared to death, you're also fearing for Atsumu's safety and you feel like a burden because you're unable to deal with this situation entirely by yourself."

 _Ouch_ , talk about rude.

"You're not used to asking for help or letting people in, yet you ended up needing it anyway and you're mad for it."

"How do ya-"

"Yet again, I'm _not_ being empathic, but I _get it_. Because I'm like that too. And if there's one thing I know is that keeping everything bottled up will, sooner or later, result in a really, really bad freak out session in the parking lot of a Seven Eleven. So just, let it out. I won't hug you and I won't tell you that it's gonna be okay. But you have to let it out."

And true to his words, Kiyoomi didn't hug him and didn't murmur baseless promises in his ears. Instead, he sat still as hot, angry tears raced down Osamu's cheeks.

It felt liberating. Being able to cry in front of someone that just _didn't_ care, someone who wasn't going to sugarcoat anything, who always told the truth just as it was, painful and bare.

Osamu choked on his own sobs and Sakusa _didn't_ care and it was _amazing_.

By now, Rintarou would have already asked a million questions and Atsumu would have threatened to kill God himself, just to make him stop crying. But not Sakusa.

The silence engulfed the pair again, as soon as the tears ran dry. But it wasn't as uncomfortable as it had previously been.

"Feel better?"

What use was lying anyway? "No."

The raven haired nodded in understanding. "Fair enough."

"Ya really are terrible at this." But Osamu's voice was devoid of any resentment whatsoever.

And Kiyoomi actually smiled, for once. It was barely a smile really, just the tiniest smirk, but it still counted as one in his books.

"I know. I told you so."

"Sakusa can I ask-?"

"Just call me Kiyoomi."

"Alright, Kiyoomi-san then. Did...did something like this ever happen to ya too?"

Sakusa furrowed his eyebrows. "Like this what?"

"The uhm, abuse thing."

"God no."

"Oh okay, that's good."

Silence again. "What made you think it did?"

"The fact that ya get it so well. The fear, the anxiety, the _rage_. And ye'r not good at empathizing so I thought.. Ya must've lived through something similar. But I'm glad that I was wrong."

Sakusa hummed, looking lost in thought. Then he said: "Alright, I saw you at your lowest, I owe you this much. I'm not a victim of abuse but I.. How do I say this? I'm sick, mentally."

"Oh."

"I have OCD, but like, bad OCD. Not the 'I-must-place-all-my-stationary-in-a-straight-line' kind, more like the one that gives me at least one full blown panic attack a month. It actually got way better now, but I still struggle with it. And the anxiety comes along with the intrusive thoughts, like those 'buy one get one free' deals. So I can't understand _your_ specific type of pain but I understand pain, _and_ fear. And anger. I get it all."

"Kiyoomi-san."

"What."

"Will it trigger something if I hug ya?"

Sakusa thought about responding with one of his sarcastic jokes, but then decided against it. Both of them could probably use - no, both of them were in desperate need of a hug. A hug devoid of sympathy or pity or worry. A hug that existed for the sole purpose of gifting the other person with a few seconds of _amazingly meaningless_ warmth.

So, he simply shook his head no and welcomed Osamu into his arms.

"It must have been hard for ya, coming with us all the way to Kyoto on a weekend night. I'm really thankful."

Warmth was so nice.

"You're welcome."

"Ye'r way too good for my brother."

Sakusa snorted. "I tell him all the time but he just doesn't listen to me."

"Typical Atsumu."

"Yeah." Kiyoomi thought of coffe eyes and piss-yellow hair and that stupid smirk and that annoyingly loud voice, and his inside melted. Not that anyone had to know about that, of course. "Typical Atsumu."

The comfortable silence that once again nestled between the two boys was interrupted by a loud ringing sound. Sakusa didn't even have enough time to pick up his phone as he answered the call, before a panicked voice hissed: "Atsumu's disappeared, we don't know where they are."

Osamu felt like he had just fallen from a cliff. Kita's voice echoed in his ears like a roaring thunder. _"Atsumu's disappeared_ "

No.

_"We don't know where they are"_

No.

"Sakusa-san please stay in the car until we-"

Osamu didn't get to hear the last part of the sentence because his feet had suddenly decided to move on their own and, before he even knew it, he had started running. Out of the car, out of the parking lot. _Faster_

He heard Kiyoomi scream his name but the pleading fell completely deaf to his ears. _"Atsumu's disappeared"_

Images of abandoned, half empty glasses, of bloodstained blue jeans and of pitying stares filled his mind. Osamu tripped over nothing and scrambled to his feet. _Not to him._

Bile had already begun rising up at the back of his throat by the time he reached the entrance of the club. That hellish club.

_Not to him.._

Eyes the color of coffee **must not** know misery.

_Never to him._   
  
  


Approximately 5 minutes prior  
  


Atsumu didn't mean to brag, but he had to admit that he had been doing a great fucking job at pretending. The guy had definitely been fooled and the policemen were on their way. Victory and Justice were sitting together on his palm, smiling brightly at the Heavens.  
He had been doing amazing.

That was, until he slipped.

That damned word left his mouth before he could try to bite his tongue and swallow it back, along with all the self-loathing he had accumulated that night.

It slipped through his teeth, traitorous and slimy, poisonous and all snake-like.

"Consent"

Such a basic word, a simple one really. Consent. It felt easy on the tongue and sounded nice when pronounced. Consent. He didn't even remember why he said it.  
Consent. He probably didn't even think much of it as he whispered it to life, too focused on his impending triumph to care, but apparently it had been an alarm bell for the man sitting next to him.

A huge alarm bell. That seemed to immediately make all the little mistakes and imperfections of his performance stand out like a drop of blood on white snow. 

Atsumu saw the way his eyes darkened and the way his forehead corrugated. He tried to cover his mistake by changing the topic, but it was too late. The damage had been done.

Suddenly, without saying anything, the guy rose to his feet and headed towards a hidden back door that lead to a narrow alleyway, and Atsumu had no choice but to follow.

And that was how he found himself currently pinned to a wall.

"You called them on me?? How could you!"

Half a dozen policemen had already surrounded the club. Their voices could be clearly heard as they searched and cleared the perimeter, encouraging all the club-goers to remain calm and still in their positions.

Atsumu wasn't afraid, not at all. If anything he was _trembling_ in anticipation. He could already see it, the moments those wrists would be bound by two shiny, cold handcuffs.

But, for the second time that night, his desires clouded his better judgment and slowed his reaction time. The guy seemed to have found a way out, if the way he was staring at his right was anything to go by. A way out of the alley and into a busy street he could hide himself in. And he made one hell of a dash for it.

Atsumu was stunned in place, as the other's silhouette grew further and further by the second. His feet felt like they had been glued to the ground but his mind was racing two hundred miles per hour.

_Run_

_Run asshole_

_Run!_ And then he finally did.  
  
  


"Stop him! Don't let that man get away!"

As soon as Atsumu got close enough, he bodily threw himself over the runaway man and locked his arms around his neck, effectively managing to stop him in his tracks. "Ye'r not getting away." He growled, low and mad, mad, _mad_.

The guy started wriggling, trying to get out of his hold but to no avail.

He then spat out venomously: "Let me go. You know you wanted it as much as I did."

Atsumu tightened his grip. "No he didn't. He was drunk."

Screw the cover, screw the plan. What was done was done.

Confusion was clearly written all over the other's face but was soon superseded by urgency and, fear?

Good.

"Who are you talking about, you're completely crazy." Atsumu wanted to choke him to death. The man coughed. "L-listen, you're blowing the whole thing out of proportion. I had your consent."

" _No ya **didn't**._"

"You never turned me down or told me to stop so-" A choked out wheeze left his throat as Atsumu leaned in closer to his ear to whisper: "He was _blackout drunk_ , he couldn't tell ya to stop and ya _raped_ him. Don't try lie to my goddamn face."

The prolonged moment of silence that followed convinced Atsumu to loosen his hold. Wrong move.

He was forced to let go as the other elbowed him in the stomach to break free, and lost his balance as a well-aimed punch hit him straight in the face. The man didn't hesitate and immediately resumed his desperate escape, but Atsumu jumped to his feet and followed suit.

The two wrestled on the ground, a mess of limbs and fists and kicks and ferocity.

Atsumu took another hit but ended up on top and finally managed to pin the other to the ground. He smirked, devilishly, eyes devoured by the flames.

"Thanks for throwing the first punch in front of so many spectators. Now whatever I do will only be considered self defense."

The beast inside was desperately growling, pulling at its leash and gnashing its teeth at its prey.

The man looked straight at the boy, and had the audacity to laugh. Deep and hoarse, it was the most horrid sound Atsumu had ever heard.

"It really wasn't you, then. I had a hard time believing it because you two look just the same, but the differences are evident. He was _docile_. He was _mild_ , and he looked at me with those big eyes of his. But they're not like yours, yours are brighter. You see, I remember the faces of each of the people I _bring home_ , but your brother, I assume, was special. He was the best lay I had gotten in a long-"

Those last few words faded into background noise as Atsumu began to shake from head to toe. Everything he saw was coated in black. The man, his clothes, his skin, his hair and his teeth and his nostrils and his eyeballs. The dark liquid was even crawling on Atsumu's own hands, that were currently gripping the hem of the other's shirt.

Black, black everywhere.  
Words drenched in black, actions drenched in black. A man drenched in black.

And then the beast broke free of all restrains.

Or it would have, had it not heard an extremely familiar voice call it from far, far away. That voice that always used to whine when he got to use swing in grandma's garden first. That voice that relentlessly insulted him when he ate the last onigiri mom had prepared for dinner. That voice that comforted him when the thunders got just a bit too loud at night. That voice, that voice, that voice...

"'Tsumu -" That voice was out of breath, hesitant and a little trembling, but it was undeniably Osamu's.

Atsumu blinked, and then blinked again. And again and again and again. When his eyes were finally able to focus back on the man laying underneath him, he could only see the revolting face of a revolting criminal.

And no black liquid whatsoever.

"'Tsumu, are'ya okay? Ye'r bleeding, Christ. What did'ya.. -"

The words died down in his brother's mouth, and Atsumu had no problem understanding the reason why. After all, that was the first time Osamu ever got to look at _him_ after all those months.

No one spoke until a multitude of heavy steps hurried in their direction.

Aran, Kita, Sunarin. Sakusa.

(What the hell was the latter doing in the middle of such a crowd?).

And then Ginjima, Akagi, Oomimi and some men in blue uniforms.

Each and everyone of them had the same set of expressions printed on their faces. Fear, anger, confusion, relief.

But then someone stepped out of the crowd, and Atsumu's jaw went slack.

An elegant woman, dressed to the nines, who must have been in her early fourties. She was holding a pair of shiny, cold handcuffs between her slender fingers.

"Murata Akihiko, you're under arrest on the criminal charges of numerous cases of sexual assault, attempted fraud, along with various and sundry other crimes. You have the right to remain silent."

Everything else after that felt like a fever dream. Atsumu was helped up by a police officer as another cuffed the man, Murata Akihiko apparently, and lead him towards a black and white car.

Atsumu snapped out of his daze and turned his head to the woman, who was still standing in the same exact spot she had been minutes ago.

"Ye'r... The lady from the police station... Are ya..?"

She smiled then, warm and kind and Atsumu knew he had been right.

"Chief Inspector Mito Aya, it's a pleasure to see you again." But her face suddenly grew serious as she asked: "How are you boys?"

For the first time that night, Atsumu and Osamu looked at each other, saw each other, and nodded. "We'll be alright."

She repeated the same motion. "You can go home now, we'll call your parents and explain everything to them. Oh and boys."

She smiled as two almost identical pairs of eyes focused on her. "You've been brave."

The car ride wasn't like anything any of them had ever experienced. It was silent yes, but the atmosphere was so _light_ it felt like Kita-san was driving on a road entirely made of clouds.

And when they finally reached good ol' Hyogo it was like they had just pulled up into Heaven.

Atsumu and Osamu raced each other to their front door but no winner was ever decreed. To Atsumu, he had touched to handle first, to Osamu, the exact contrary.  
  
  


"Does it still hurt?"

"A little. Ow! Could ya try to be a bit gentler, dear brother? It stings! 'Samu, it stings."

"Shut it. How old are ya, five?"

The blond pouted annoyingly, and then started whining again. "But I got hurt trying to defend my lovely twin's pride, ya should be kissing my feet in veneration, not trying to corrode my cheek with antiseptic."

"Atsumu, I'm going to stab yer eye with this cotton swab."

"Mean."

"Stay still."

"But-"

"I said stay still, good God, could ya stop flinching for one second?"

"Hey, it's not my fault it burns, okay? I'm trying my best here."

Eventually the blond quieted down and let his brother disinfect his wounds in peace. A few minutes later, all the materials Osamu had used were back in their respective places, and the younger announced proudly: "There, all done."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Atsumu's hand grabbed his forearm before the silver haired boy could get up from his seat and leave the bathroom. Osamu glanced at his brother in question.

"Are ya sure ya feel like going out for dinner? We can still bail on them and stay at home."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Alright."

"Apprehensive much, prick?" Osamu joked with a smile on his face.

"I'm not apprehensive! I'm just being considerate."

"Ya sound like mom."

Atsumu sighed in defeat. "God I hate ya."

"But ya'd still rip the world apart for me."

Eyes, identical brown eyes met each other. The colour of freshly brewed coffee welcomed Osamu in its warmth, filling his chest with the comforting feeling he liked to think of as a sense of belonging.

_You're Home._

Atsumu had never been as serious than when he answered: "Yes, I would."

"Always?"

"Of course. Until we both stop breathing, and ever after that."

Osamu smiled. "I would too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was the last chapter! I'm posting it at 3 am because I wanted it to be out on the Twins' birthday lol. I'm feeling kind of emotional at having finished this story and I'd like to deeply thank each and every one of you who have read, liked and commented on this. I honestly don't have enough words to thank you all singularly, but if I did, I would. This being said, I hope you enjoy the last chapter as well. (I say last but I'll probably write a little something else because I've grown way too fond of these characters and their lives).  
> Let me know what you think and thank you, again, for sticking around until the end.


End file.
